Happy Daze
by Lilpixiegirl2511
Summary: Joker puts Harley in a coma. As she sleeps she experiences a whole new life in a happier and simpler time. The question is will she ever come back?
1. Chapter 1

Happy Daze Chapter 1

Joan Leland raced down the hallway towards the medical wing. The asylum was in utter chaos. As she turned the corner she was forced to slide to a stop because the hallway was blocked by a mob of bodies. Three orderlies were restraining the Joker and two others were trying to pull Poison Ivy off of him as she screamed and throttled him.

"You bastard! If she dies I'll kill you myself!"

"It's not _my_ fault she didn't get out of the way!" He bellowed back at her. Her hands managed to circle his throat.

"You lobbed a grenade _directly at her_ , you prick! Her back was turned, how was she supposed to get the hell out of the way?" The orderlies managed to pry Ivy off of Joker.

"If she had done what I told her to, none of this would have happened!"

Ivy had an orderly on either side of her grasping her upper arms and she used this to her advantage. She lifted her feet, swung forward and planted them directly in the Jokers face. He saw stars as he felt the sharp pain of his nose breaking. Blood immediately spurted from it, running down his face and onto the front of his suit. He licked the blood from his lips, and started cackling hysterically. Joan needed to get this under control and fast. She pushed her way into the center of the fracas and pulled out two hypodermic needles loaded with sedative. She headed for Ivy first since she was struggling and being combative and stabbed the needle into her upper arm administering the medication. She then quickly turned and did the same to Joker. Sedatives didn't work normally on either of the rogues and she knew it, but it did take the fight out of them rather quickly.

"Get them out of here and put them both in solitary!"

"What about his nose Doctor Leland?" asked one of the orderlies handling the Joker.

She walked over to J, roughly grabbed his nose, pulled and twisted until she felt the bones pop back into alignment. J screamed in pain at the rough handling.

"Jesus Doc, take it easy will you?" Joan glared at the sadistic clown.

"Get him out of here. _NOW_!"

They dragged the two criminals down the hallway towards the solitary confinement cells. Joan quickly jogged down to the medical center and pushed open the doors to see the staff there working on an unconscious Harley Quinn. Harley may be a criminal, but she was once Joan's protégée and friend and she cared about her. It broke her heart to see Harley constantly in the throes of addiction and obsession over that psychopathic clown. She knew it would come to no good and here was the proof. Harley's head was wrapped in bandages and much of her body was covered in first and second degree burns. There was blood crusted in her ears and at the corner of her mouth. Joan walked towards the table Harley was laying on and addressed one of the doctors.

"What's her status?"

"She's alive and stable Joan, but she's completely unresponsive. There are a few broken bones that need to be set and the burns need to be treated. She suffered a fairly serious head trauma and we need a CAT scan to determine if there is any swelling in the brain. I'll contact you once we've completed our assessment."

"Thanks Bill, I appreciate it."

She left the medical wing and headed to the intake offices. Karen was on the desk tonight and was very obviously frazzled.

"Karen, who brought them in tonight? Was it Batman? Is he here?"

"No it was the GCPD this time. Batman is on the scene from what I understand, there are civilians still trapped in the rubble."

Damn it, the one time she wanted to talk to him he wasn't there. She wanted to know what had happened, not that it really mattered. Harley was still seriously injured and knowing the how and why wasn't going to make her any better.

"If he shows up, page me." Karen nodded.

"Of course."

Joan headed to her office to take some ibuprofen and finish notating her patient files as she waited for an update on Harley's condition. Her shift was almost over but she decided to stay until the prognosis was complete. Hours later Dr. Foster knocked on her door.

"Hey Bill, how is she?"

"Stable. Her vitals are normal. Besides the obvious injuries she's in fairly good shape. The problem is she's still unconscious. Nothing we've tried has worked to bring her out of it. Joan, she's in a coma." Joan sighed and rubbed her face.

"I told her that sick bastard would be the death of her! Damn him!" Bill had only joined the staff a few years ago, but he knew Joan had a soft spot for Harley.

"I'm sorry Joan. I wish I had better news."

"Thanks Bill. May I see her?"

"Of course. Go on down, take as much time as you need."

She made her way back down to the medical wing. Harley was lying in one of the medical bays, tubes and wires attached all over her body, bandages covering the majority of her skin. Joan gazed down at her small form, her heart breaking for her former colleague. She pulled over a chair, sat and took one of Harley's small hands in hers.

"Harley, it's Joan. I hope you can hear me. You're going to be okay you know. Your wounds will heal in time. We need you to come back to us now. If you can hear me, I need you to wake up. Wake up Harley. Wake up."

oOoOoOoOo

"Time to wake up. Harleen, come on, wake up honey." Harley cracked her eyes open as she felt herself being gently shaken on one shoulder. She blinked several times in mild confusion.

"Mom?"

"Good morning sleepy head. Come on sweetie, breakfast is ready and it's almost time for school. Your bus will be here in an hour."

Harley looked around the room bewildered. The walls of the bedroom she had woken up in were a pale pink. It was filled with white furniture, stuffed animals, trophies and ribbons and she was lying under a pink floral quilt. She looked at her mother. She was wearing a blue plaid dress that cinched at the waist and flared out widely at the hemline which was covered by a white apron. She was wearing heels and her makeup was already done. Her hair was impeccably styled into neat finger waves and curls that fell to just below her earlobes.

"Why does my head hurt?" Her mother gave her a puzzled look.

"You don't remember?" Harley shook her head. "You fell off the bleachers last night at the football game and hit your head. You were always such a clumsy little girl." She said with a smile. "No harm done though sweetheart, just a little bump is all. Now come on, time to get dressed and get a nice nutritious breakfast into you before that math test today."

Her mother turned and left the room as Harley tried to remember how she got there. She _really_ must have bumped her head because she had no recollection of it at all. She shrugged and got out of bed to get dressed. She opened the closet to reveal a row of full skirts, button down dress shirts, cardigan sweaters and modest dresses. She went with a pink polka dotted dress, a white cardigan, white bobby socks and saddle shoes. She put her hair up into two high pigtails then followed the aroma of pancakes to the kitchen. She froze in the doorway.

"Daddy?" Her father looked up from his paper and smiled at his daughter.

"Good morning Princess! How's Daddy's little girl today?"

Her father was wearing a blue suit with a crisp white dress shirt and a diagonally striped tie. She stared at him confused for some reason. Something didn't feel right. She was distracted by the sound of small feet running towards the kitchen. Her little brother Barry burst into the room. He was wearing dungarees, a striped shirt and Buster Brown shoes. His hair was cropped in a crew cut and he was carrying a hobby horse in one hand and a cowboy hat in the other. He put the hat on his head and pointed his finger like a gun at Harley.

"Bang, bang! I got you Injun, you're dead! Bang!" Harley's mother walked over and plucked the hobby horse and hat away from Barry.

"No cowboys and Indians at the table Barry. Now both of you sit and eat your breakfast."

Harley glanced around the kitchen. The floors were black and white checkerboard tile, the cabinets were a butter yellow with white appliances and a floral wallpaper covered the walls. She cautiously walked to the table and sat down while her mother set a plate of hot pancakes and bacon down in front of her.

"What's wrong Princess?" She looked up at her father.

"What are you doing here?" Nick Quinzel started then looked at his watch and grinned.

"Thanks for reminding me Pumpkin. I almost forgot about that meeting this morning." He stood and kissed Sharon on the cheek. She handed him his hat and briefcase. "Well kiddos, I better get to the office." He kissed both of his children on top of their heads. "Good luck with that math test today Harleen. See you later."

"Have a good day honey." Sharon turned to her children. "Eat up kids, or you'll miss your busses."

Once the breakfast dishes were cleared Harley found her books and walked down to the corner to wait for the school bus. She had a nagging feeling that something was wrong but she just couldn't put her finger on it. It must be the bump on her head. It was making her confused. The bus arrived and as soon as she stepped onto it she saw a gorgeous redhead who was waving to her from the very last seat.

"C'mon Harley, I saved you a seat." She walked to the rear of the bus and sat down next to her best friend Pamela. This was the first encounter of her day that actually felt normal for some reason. "How's your head?" Harley rubbed the back of her skull and felt a small lump there.

"Okay I guess. Just a bump but it's making me feel all weird." Pam gave her a curious look.

"What do you mean weird?"

"It's hard to explain. I couldn't remember how I got home last night and I didn't recognize my room when I got up. Then I saw Mom, Dad and Barry and had this strange feeling that something wasn't right. Like everything was too perfect or something." Pam rolled her eyes.

"That's because your family _is_ too perfect. Well I'd be more than happy to trade your family for mine Harls. My family is a nightmare."

Her memory seemed to suddenly flood her brain. Pam's father had passed away years ago and her mother remarried. Pam's stepfather was a city bus driver with a bad temper and a drinking problem and her mother was a depressive with little interest in anything other than her soap operas, cigarettes and valium. Harley gave Pam a once over. She was wearing black pants that were rolled up to her mid-calf, a green off the shoulder sweater and black flats. She was about to ask Pam a question when the bus pulled up in front of Gotham High. They filed off the bus and walked together into the building. She saw a number of familiar faces and that strange feeling finally started to drift away.

"So Harls, you have a date for the dance on Friday yet?" Did she? She wasn't sure for a moment but it suddenly came to her.

"Um, no. Actually I can't go to the dance, I have to work at the drive-in on Friday." Pam gave her a haughty look.

"Oh come on! Ditch Dunbar's and come to the dance. It won't be the same if you're not there. Besides, I hear that Bruce Wayne is going to ask you to go with him." Harley rolled her eyes.

"That blockhead jock?"

"That _rich_ blockhead jock!" Pam said with raised brows.

"No thanks, the guy just isn't my type." Pam shook her head in astonishment.

"Harley, he's a millionaire! Any girl in this school would die to go out with Bruce Wayne. Marry a guy like that and you and your family are set for life!" Harley pulled her books to her chest as they walked towards homeroom.

"Any girl but me. I want a guy who can make me laugh and that blowhard has no sense of humor at all. Anyway I thought he and Selina were steadies?"

"Well he hasn't asked her to wear his ring, but if he did I know she'd say yes."

"Harleen!" She turned to see Jonathan Crane, a tall, skinny bookish boy she'd been friends with since primary school, coming up the hallway behind them. She waited for him to catch up. "Good morning Harleen, Pamela. May I carry your books for you ladies?"

"Why thank you Jonathan, that's very nice of you. How are you?" He piled their heavy books into his arms and struggled slightly under their combined weight.

"Just splendid! My project for the science fair is coming along quite nicely. I'd like for you to see it before my big debut." Harley smiled kindly at him. Jonathan was socially awkward but a very nice guy and she often humored him when he got excited over one of his experiments even though she wasn't really interested in the subject.

"What are you working on?" His face lit up at the prospect of thrilling her with his intellect.

"I am studying the effect of the fear response in laboratory mice. It's quite thrilling work." Ivy rolled her eyes. She was not a fan of Jonathan, he seemed to get on her nerves whenever he was around.

"Oh look Harls, here we are. Sorry Jonathan but we've gotta run now. Thanks for carrying our books though."

"Oh well I thought perhaps you could come over this weekend-" That was all he got out of his mouth before Pam pulled Harley through the door.

The bell rang and the students sat down at their desks. Harley looked around the room. She recognized most of the people in the classroom. Selina Kyle, captain of the cheerleading squad, sat at her desk applying lipstick in a compact mirror. Their foreign exchange student, an unfortunate looking young man named Jervis Tetch was seated in the front row. He was mercilessly picked on for his short stature, buck teeth and English accent. Harley felt sorry for him. To her right was Jenna Duffy, a tomboy to the nth degree who would rather be enrolled in shop class than the home economics course they made all the girls take. Maximillian Zeus, a Greek immigrant whose father was a shipping magnate, was in the desk in front of her. To the rear of the room was Oswald Cobblepot, another odd looking boy, who thanks to his family's money, power and connections, was able to avoid the kind of bullying poor Jervis experienced even though he was short and rotund with beady eyes and a beak-like nose. Next to Oswald was a hulking tank of a boy named Bane Dorrance who was the captain of the school's wrestling team. She wasn't positive where he was from originally but he spoke with a heavy Hispanic accent.

As their teacher, Mrs. Leland sat down at her desk to call roll, Bruce Wayne, pampered millionaire and captain of the Varsity Football team, swaggered into the room, late as usual. He sat in the empty desk directly next to Harley. She could feel him looking at her but she did everything in her power to avoid his gaze. As roll was called Bruce leaned over and tossed a note on Harley's desk. She inwardly groaned and opened the note.

'Want to go to the dance with me?' she quickly scribbled a reply.

'Can't. Working.' And tossed it back. He wrote another reply and tossed it back to her and she sighed.

'Play hooky.' She wrote her response and tossed it back.

'We can't all be millionaires, so NO.'

He read the note with disdain. She had to be crazy to turn down a date with the richest, most handsome and eligible boy in town. He shrugged. Fine, it was her loss. After homeroom she and Pam parted ways. Pam had honors Biology but Harley had her favorite class of the day, Psychology. Jonathan was in this class with her, in fact they belonged to the same study group. His face brightened as she walked into the room.

"Hi Jonathan. Sorry about earlier, you know how Pam gets."

"Yes, I know she doesn't like me very much, but really you are the _only_ person Pamela truly likes in this entire school."

Harley giggled, it was true. Pam would rather be out in her garden alone than be around people. She was fascinated by ecology and felt the human race was eventually going to destroy it. She didn't play well with others.

"But to answer your question from earlier, yes I'll try to stop by to see your mice. Is Saturday okay?" A grin slowly spread across Jonathans face.

"Saturday would be delightful Harley. I can't wait to show you my findings." A voice came from over Harley's shoulder.

"I'm sure that's not the only thing he wants to show you."

Harley turned to see Roxanne 'Roxy' Sutton with a glib expression on her face eavesdropping on their conversation. Harley pursed her lips in annoyance. Roxy was a pretty girl with auburn hair who was well known throughout the school for being loose.

"Roxy don't be crude. It's not very ladylike. And anyway butt-out, it isn't any of your business."

"I just call it like I see it Harley and that boy is crushing on you hard."

Jonathan went ten different shades of red. It was true, he'd loved Harley from afar for years now but didn't have the confidence to ask her out. He sputtered and tried to form a retort but Harley beat him to it.

"Ya know Roxy, Jonathan is my friend and that's all we are. Unlike you, not everyone around here thinks with their privates."

"You little _bitch_."

"At least I'm not the town _trollop_. Why don't you go find someone else to annoy? Jonathan and I have work to do." She stormed off with a huff.

"Don't listen to her Jonathan, she just loves stirring up trouble."

"Thank you for that Harley. I wasn't prepared for an altercation."

Their teacher, Mr. Arkham, brought the class back to attention and before long the incident was forgotten. The next period was gym, another of Harley's favorite classes. She changed into her school issued black shorts and white shirt. They were working on tumbling and rope climbing today, both of which she excelled at. She was on the school's gymnastics team, although it was currently the off season. The following period was lunch and she was happy to see Pam waiting for her in the cafeteria. Harley's mom packed her a bag lunch which included a ham and cheese sandwich and a crisp, shiny, red apple. She grabbed a carton of milk from the cooler and joined Pam at their usual table.

"So Harls, are you feeling any better?" She shrugged as she unwrapped her sandwich.

"I guess so. I haven't exactly had that feeling that something is wrong, but I don't know, it still doesn't feel quite right either." Pam was eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, she paused and looked at her friend.

"Maybe you should tell your folks when you get home."

"Nah, I don't want to worry them. I'll be fine." Harley took a bite of her sandwich then looked back at her friend. "He asked me." Pam's head popped up and her eyes widened.

"Bruce? What did you say?"

"I didn't _say_ anything, he tossed me a note in class. But I turned him down. I told you, I have to work."

"Was he mad?" She shrugged.

"Not mad, but he wasn't happy. I don't think boys like Bruce Wayne are used to rejection. So who are you going with anyway?" Pam smiled.

"I don't know. I may just go stag to tell the truth."

"Riddle me this, I am earth, I am water. Fire gives me strength. I hold earth, I hold water and beauty rises from me. What am I?" Pam rolled her eyes dramatically and sighed heavily.

"A flower pot."

"Very good Pamela. I am very impressed." Harley looked up at the freckled ginger.

"Hi Eddie."

"Good afternoon ladies."

Edward Nygma was the smartest boy in their class. He wasn't unattractive but his demeanor was a bit off putting as he was very egotistical and loved to flaunt his intelligence. He had a raging crush on Pam and no matter how many times she turned him down, he still kept asking her out.

"So Pamela, I understand that you don't have a date for the dance and I thought perhaps I could help you with that."

"Eddie, what did I say the last time you asked me to a dance?" He deflated slightly.

"You declined my invitation." She smiled.

"That's right Eddie, and my answer hasn't changed. So no."

"Don't take it so hard Eddie. Pam's going stag."

"Pamela, just think about it. We'd make a stunning couple." As he walked away Pam threw her head back and laughed.

"Is he ever going to give it up?"

"Well he's tenacious, you gotta give him that."

"Yeah he is, but it will never happen. I like a bad boy, a rebel. Like James Dean."

"You mean a greaser." Pam shrugged.

"What's wrong with greasers?"

"You mean besides the fact that they like to rumble and drag race and generally cause trouble? Nothing I guess." The girls giggled and finished their lunches.

Her next class was Math. Harley took her test and was pretty confident that she passed. She got through the rest of the day and took the bus home. Her mother was in the kitchen baking cookies when she walked in and Barry was watching the Lone Ranger in the living room.

"Hey Mom."

"Hi bubby, how was school today?"

She walked over and plucked a warm chocolate chip cookie from the cooling rack and took a bite. The gooey chocolate melted in her mouth and her eyes rolled into the back of her head as she savored the sweetness on her tongue.

"School was fine. Wow Mom, I think this is the best cookie I have ever eaten. What did you do to make them so good?" Her mother turned and gave her daughter a lopsided grin.

"I baked them with love silly."

Harley smiled. She considered telling her mom about the strange feelings she'd been having all day. Even now she was having this strong intuition that was telling her to be cautious. It was unnerving but she was afraid of freaking her mother out so she kept it to herself. Sharon moved the last of the cookies to the cooling rack and looked at the clock.

"Your father will be home soon. I better get his martini ready. Why don't you run up and do your homework and I'll call you when dinner is ready okay sweetheart?"

"Okay mom."

Harley went up to her bedroom and sat on the edge of her bed. She looked around at the photos and trophies and tried to remember the events associated with each. She picked up a picture of her family at the beach and focused but no memory of the event came. What was happening to her? Surely a bump on the head couldn't wipe a good portion of her memories away could it? She started her homework. An hour later Sharon was calling Harley to the dinner table. She sat across from her father who had loosened his tie a bit and was drinking a vodka martini straight up. Her mother brought over a meatloaf and placed it in the center of the table next to the peas, mashed potatoes and hot biscuits. Nick looked over at Barry.

"You want to say Grace tonight sport?"

Wait a minute. They were saying grace? Weren't they Jewish? Harley tried prying the memory from her brain but was still coming up empty handed. The family bowed their heads and folded their hands.

"Thank you for the world so sweet. Thank you for the food we eat. Thank you for the birds that sing. Thank you God for everything. Amen."

"Okay, let's eat!" said Nick grabbing the potatoes and spooning a large portion onto his plate.

The family bantered throughout dinner, although Harley remained mostly silent. Alarm bells kept going off in her head and it was making her a little crazy. She didn't understand what was happening. Maybe she just needed to ignore it. She looked at her family. She had never remembered them being happier. They were living a perfect life. Something was wrong.

After the dinner dishes were done and put away, the family crowded around the black and white television and watched The Honeymooners. Harley couldn't concentrate on it. When she finally got to bed that night she stared at the ceiling disturbed. She could swear they were Jewish. She was surprised to see her father that morning, but why. The sun shone too brightly in the sky, the flowers smelt like the best perfume ever and the food tasted like a gourmet chef had prepared it. Her brain was telling her that Sharon had always been a mediocre cook so why was that meatloaf the best meal she had eaten, at least since the pancakes that morning? Something was very, very wrong. She had snippets of voices trying to make their way into her head but she tried forcing them out. Was she losing her mind? Was she going to end up locked away in some sanatorium or asylum? _Asylum_ , why did that word sound so familiar?

Eventually exhaustion overtook her and she fell into a fitful sleep filled with visions and voices of a life that didn't exist.


	2. Chapter 2

Happy Daze Chapter 2

It was Joker's second day in the hole. Both of his eyes were horribly blackened and his nose still throbbed from Ivy's kick to his face. He sat on the floor staring through the semi-darkness at the opposite wall thinking about the job. It was supposed to be a simple smash and grab in the Diamond District, but someone had tipped off the police. In the event that happened, Harley and Ivy were supposed to take care of the cops and get the getaway car while he grabbed the rest of the loot, but one of the officers made it past them and was heading to take J out. Instead of following instructions, Harley went for the cop that was after J and took the brunt of the explosion as he threw the grenade. It happened so fast there was nothing he could do once that grenade left his hand. Then of course old Bat-brain swoops in and takes both he and Ivy out and has the cops drag them back to Arkham.

He heard the outer door to the solitary block open and heavy footsteps coming down the hall. It was Mike Stone, one of the Arkham security guards who had incidentally been on Joker's payroll for years. The footsteps stopped outside of his cell and J got up and looked out of the tiny window in the cell's door.

"Well?"

Mike rubbed the back of his neck and looked nervous. It wasn't good for one's health to give the Clown Prince of Crime bad news.

"It's not good, boss." J narrowed his eyes as his lips turned down in a displeased frown.

"What do you mean, _it's not good_?"

"She's pretty banged up but that's not the bad part. She's in a coma, boss." J angrily slammed his fist into the door.

"God damn it! That brainless twit can never follow instructions! Now look at what's happened!"

He paced the small confines of his cell. He stopped and turned back to Mike.

"You need to find a way to get me to the medical center tonight." Mike looked like a deer caught in headlights.

"How? They've doubled security on the solitary wing since you got brought back in! There's no way to pull it off!"

"Well you had better figure out a way! Do you still have that phone number I gave you?"

"Yeah boss."

"Well call it. Tell him what's happened and that I'm calling in that favor he owes me. He'll know how to play it. Got it?"

"Yes sir, I'll get right on it."

"Good."

oOoOoOoOo

Harley yawned and rolled over. She could feel the sun shining on her through her closed lids. She slowly opened her eyes.

"Ahhhhhhhhhh!" she screamed at the top of her lungs.

Directly in front of her nose was a stuffed clown doll staring at her. It had a purple clown suit, wild, bright green yarn hair, green button eyes and an almost cruel looking blood red smile stitched onto its malevolent looking face. Harley sat up straight in bed, grabbing her heart through her nightgown and panting in fear. Mrs. Quinzel burst into the room.

"Harleen, what's wrong? Are you okay? Did you have a nightmare honey?" Harley flashed her frightened blue eyes at her mother and pointed at the doll.

"Where did this come from? Did you put it here?"

Her mother was obviously confused and worried as she gazed at her daughter's stricken face.

"Honey, that's Jester. You've had him since you were a little girl. You used to call him Mr. J, remember?" She walked over and sat on the edge of the bed.

"I don't like it. It's creepy." Harley said as she threw the doll across the room.

"Yes, well you did have a bit of a scare at the circus as a child and you stopped playing with him, but you would never let me get rid of him for some reason. Are you feeling okay?" She pressed her hand to Harley's brow. "Well you're not running a fever. Sweetheart, you have not been yourself since the accident and it's starting to worry me. Maybe you should stay home from school today."

"No, I can't. The dance is tonight and I'm on the decorating committee. They're depending on me to be there. Plus, I have a shift at Dunbar's later." Sharon surveyed her daughter's face.

"Okay sweetie, but if you're not feeling better on Monday I'm keeping you home and I don't expect any argument out of you. Okay?"

"Yes mom." Her mother embraced her.

"Just remember how much your father and I love you. If anything happened to you I don't know what we'd do."

Harley hugged her mother back enjoying the warmth of her embrace. She was struck by that odd feeling again that something was off but brushed it aside.

"I love you too mom."

Harley worried throughout the day about the odd occurrences and feelings she'd been experiencing since her accident. She prayed that it would stop because she didn't know how much more she could take. Her dreams were disturbing and her waking moments confusing. Waking up with that creepy clown in her bed was terrifying. It seemed familiar but not in the childhood memory type of way. It felt more like a warning of some kind. The bottom line was, she didn't feel like herself, but then who _did_ she feel like?

She was thankful when the end of the school day arrived. She went to the gymnasium to meet up with Pam, Jenna, and Harriet Pratt to work on the decorations for the dance that evening. While Jenna nailed and hammered the other girls strung crepe paper decorations. Harley was the best climber and was an expert on the balance beam so she volunteered to climb up the ropes to the rafters to hang the high decorations. She felt at home up here, it seemed familiar and right. She had an odd vision in her head of rooftops stretching into the night and the wind in her face as she ran, jumped and laughed. As she daydreamed her shoe slipped while crossing a rafter and she lost her footing. The entire room gasped as she fell. Harley snapped into action, managed to grab the beam with her hands at the last second and swung herself back up. Her heart pounded in her chest. Pam screamed up at her from below.

"Harley, get down here! You scared me half to death!" She slowly lowered herself down the ropes to the gymnasium floor. Pam ran over and hugged her. "What happened up there?"

"I got distracted. I'm okay though. See?" She spread her arms out and twirled in a circle. "No harm done." Pam grabbed her by the arm and pulled her outside.

"What is going on with you Harley?" She shook her head.

"I just don't know Pam. I feel like my life is falling apart. I had these crazy dreams last night of clowns and bats and freaks of nature. I keep getting these strange visions and I keep hearing voices in my head." Harley's eyes filled with tears. "I feel like I don't know who I am anymore. I feel like I don't know who anyone else is either." Her tears spilled down her cheeks. "I think I might be losing my mind." Pam hugged her friend.

"You're not losing your mind. You're just going through a tough time. We'll sort it out. I promise." Harley wiped her face then looked at her watch.

"Oh, Pam I gotta run! I have to get ready for my shift." She leaned in and gave Pam another brief hug. "Thanks for being such a good friend, and have fun at the dance tonight!"

"We'll stop by Dunbar's afterward to see you, and Harley?"

"Yeah Pam?"

"Just be careful. You have me worried."

"Honestly Pam, I have myself worried. See you later."

Her mother was waiting to take her home so she could change for work. She was a car hop at Dunbar's Drive-In Restaurant on weekends, trying to make enough money to buy a car eventually. She changed into her uniform. Dunbar's colors were red, black and white and her uniform was in the same palette. The shirt was black with red diamonds on the pocket and the short flared skirt was red with black diamonds near the hem and there was a white garrison hat with red piping. She dressed up her uniform with a sharp looking red scarf around her neck then grabbed her roller skates and headed to the diner.

When she got to work she sat in one of the indoor booths to put on her skates. Jimmy Olsen was working the soda fountain that night. He was a short boy with a head of curly, bright orange hair and a face covered in freckles. He was a nice boy although he was a little too nerdy for her taste and that was saying something considering Jonathan Crane was one of her longtime friends.

"Hey Harley! I thought you'd be at the dance tonight." Gotham High was in the Upper East Side but Jimmy went to Riverside High on the Upper West Side.

"Hey Freckles! Nah, I need a car more than I need to go to the school gym to do the Bop or the Hand Jive. Tips are too good on Fridays to take one off when I'm so close to my goal."

One of her fellow car hops who was a freshman from Gotham University, Talia Al Ghul, sat down across the booth from Harley to put on her own skates. She spoke with a heavy accent Harley couldn't quite place.

"I did not know there was a dance tonight. I thought my beloved would have asked me to go."

Talia used to date Bruce Wayne and even though he used her and left her she still fancied herself as his lover, which may or may not be true. Bruce's reputation was dubious to say the least. Harley didn't mention that Bruce had asked her to the dance. As far as she knew he was going with Selina Kyle now.

Dunbar's had both an indoor and an outdoor dining area as well as the drive-in slots where folks could pull in to sit and eat right in their cars. Harley usually worked outside since she was pretty darn good on her roller skates, better than any of the other car hops, which she thought was great on such a warm and beautiful night in late spring. Friday nights were always busy and tonight was no exception, however the real crowd wouldn't get there until later. Dunbar's was a regular hang out for the city's youth who congregated to flirt, show off their cars, listen to the jukebox and share burgers and ice cream floats. Once the dance let out she expected to get inundated with customers.

OOoOoOoOoOo

Joker paced his cell waiting for Mike to get back and bring him to see Harley. At 9 PM he heard him being questioned outside of the cell block.

"What are you two doing here?"

"We're here for Joker. Doc Foster needs to check out his nose, make sure there are no complications."

"Fine, go on in."

Mike was accompanied by a guard named Davis Haskill, known for being a straight arrow, as straight as they come. They opened Joker's cell to find him smiling broadly.

"Hey Basil, thanks for doing me a solid on such short notice. What did you do with Davis?"

"What do you think? I killed him and stuffed his body in the garbage chute. You ready to go see your girl?"

Basil Karlo aka Clayface was an ex-actor who was imbued with the power to not only change his shape into anyone or anything but also had the ability to mimic voices, a very handy talent for J to exploit. The two 'guards' escorted Joker to the medical center. Clayface oozed underneath the outer door to do a sweep of the room. There was a single nurse on duty that he knocked out before letting Mike and Joker into the ward. J walked over to Harley's bed and scrutinized her body. She was in bad shape. She had a cast on her left wrist and left ankle and she was covered from head to toe in bandages. What little bit of skin that was showing was bruised and discolored. J turned to the other two men.

"Can you guys give me a few minutes alone with her?"

"Sure J, we'll keep watch outside."

"Thanks Bas." He sat in the chair next to her bed and shook his head. "You never could follow directions, could you, ya dizzy dame. Now look at you. So, I've heard that talking to a person in a coma might help bring them around and I figure _I_ have a better chance of doing that than anyone else in this nuthouse. If you can hear me, I want you to know it was an accident Harls. You stepped right in the way of the grenade, there was nothing I could have done to save you. Why do you _always_ have to jump in and try to save me? Do you really think I couldn't handle one little cop on my own? Gah! Sometimes you are so infuriating I just want to kill you! That I haven't yet says a hell of a lot about how accustomed to you I've become over the years." He looked in her face for any sign of movement but she remained perfectly still.

"Well dollface, since you don't seem to want to talk, I guess I will instead."

For the next thirty-five minutes, Joker held her hand and chatted, telling her stories and jokes, reminiscing about things they had done together in the past. If anyone had been there to see it, they would have realized how incredibly touching the entire scene was.

oOoOoOoOoOo

Harley could tell the dance had let out when Bruce Wayne and his jock crew pulled in. They were in two separate convertibles. Selina was riding shotgun with Bruce and in the backseat was quarterback Oliver Queen and his girlfriend Dinah Lance. The next car was driven by Clark Kent who was accompanied by his date Lois Lane and behind them were Dick Grayson, the only sophomore on the Varsity football team, and his girlfriend Barbara Gordon who was the principal's daughter. The boys were all wearing their Varsity jackets and lettermen sweaters. Harley was grateful they pulled into Talia's section.

Harley was waiting at the soda fountain for two strawberry shakes for one of her outdoor tables. She bopped to Rock Around the Clock which was playing on the jukebox as Talia came up beside her to give Jimmy an order. She was obviously angry.

"I guess you didn't know Brue was dating Selina?" Talia flipped her hair over one shoulder and shot a nasty look in Selina's direction.

"He's a cad, she'll discover that in time and my beloved will come back to me."

Behind them they both heard the sound of a large motorcycle pulling into one of the parking spots. Talia nodded her head towards the large window.

"Look what just pulled into your section. Good luck with that rabble."

Harley turned her head and saw a shiny, metallic purple Harley Davidson with big ape style chrome handlebars sitting there, driven by a very tall boy. Well he was really more of a man than a boy, he had to be college age at least. He was very pale, so pale in fact that if it weren't for his thick head of black hair she'd have thought he was an albino. That hair was styled into a large pompadour with thin sideburns and a single spit curl that fell over his forehead. He had on dark blue dungarees, cuffed just above his black biker boots, a white tee shirt, sunglasses and a black leather jacket. In the open spot next to him a blue Thunderbird convertible pulled in with two boys dressed almost identically to the biker. Jimmy slid the shakes Harley had been waiting for across the counter and she put them on her tray.

"Well I guess I had better get out there."

She skated outside and dropped off the shakes then circled behind the three greasers to get their drink orders. As she did so, she saw the name of their gang on the backs of their jackets, which said 'Jokerz'. She skated up beside the motorcycle. The boy took off his sunglasses and she was able to get a better look at him. He had a long face with a sharp jawline, an aquiline nose and piercing, deep green eyes. His lips were a deep color that drew your attention to his mouth. He flashed her a wide, toothy smile. He was unique to be sure, but he was not unattractive. In fact, to Harley he was quite striking. On top of that he positively exuded coolness. Her heart thudded a little faster and she swallowed the lump in her throat that was currently preventing her from speaking.

"Hey fellas. I'm Harley and I'll be serving you. You know what you'd like or do you need a few minutes?" The boy on the bike looked at his buddies.

"Harv, Zsasz, the usual?"

The boy driving the Thunderbird was a brunette who wore his hair in a duck-ass and Harley noticed immediately that the left side of his face was covered almost entirely by a large strawberry birthmark. The other boy in the car had a crew cut and was covered in small straight scars all over his body. The one she thought he had called Harv replied.

"Yeah Jay, that's good."

Those green eyes locked with hers and she felt something she had never felt before, a warmth that filled her belly and made her knees a little weak. She bit her lip as she waited for him to speak.

"Yeah, we're ready dollface. Three cheeseburgers, two cherry cokes, a chocolate malted, an Eskimo Pie and your phone number." He waggled his eyebrows at her playfully.

Harley felt the heat in her cheeks as she blushed a deep pink. She giggled and tried to get a hold of herself.

"I've never seen you boys before. What school do you go to?" The boy named Jay chuckled.

"We don't go to school cupcake. Too much money to be made out here in the real world to be stuck in a classroom all day long."

"Oh, so what do you do then?"

"I'm a mechanic." He pointed to the bike he was sitting on. "This baby is fully custom. Did all the work myself."

"Wow! It's beautiful!"

"So Harley, is it?" She nodded again. "I'm Jay, this here is Harvey." He said as he pointed to the boy with the birthmark. "And that scooch over there is Victor, but we just call him Zsasz." She smiled at the group.

"Pleased to meetcha! I'll go put in your orders. Be right back with your drinks." She winked at him and skated away as Jay whistled softly.

"You see the classy chassis on her?" Harvey looked over at his friend who was obviously smitten.

"Yeah, she's a real looker Jay." Jay pointed at both his friends.

"I saw her first, I call dibs!"

As Harley came out to deliver their drinks she caught movement out of the corner of her eye. Bruce Wayne and his crew were approaching the greasers. Bruce stood in front of Jay, face filled with anger and chest puffed out like winter's robin.

"What is Bowery trash like you doing here? This is our turf you buncha freaks!" Jay threw his head back and cackled.

"Why don't you put an egg in your shoe and beat it before you get hurt, Sporto." Harvey and Zsasz got out of the Thunderbird as Jay got off his bike. "You wanna rumble Jock?"

He pulled out a switchblade knife and flicked out the blade, his two companions following suit. Harley's eyes widened and without thinking about what she was doing she stepped in between the two groups of boys still holding her tray of drinks on her shoulder.

"Hey! Cut it out, all of you!" She turned to Bruce's group. "Bruce you and your friends need to go back to your cars or I'm calling the cops.

"Are you standing up for this greaser trash Harley?"

"Bruce this is no one's _'turf'_ but Mr. Dunbar and everyone is welcome to come and eat in peace. So why don't you all go sit back down?" Bruce sneered at her.

"It seems I misjudged you Harley. If you're gonna stand by this pasty faced punk and his delinquent freak friends, you must be trash too." In her skates she was almost as tall as the burly jock.

"You know what Bruce? Get bent!" She took her tray of drinks and threw them at his face as Mr. Dunbar, the owner of the restaurant came out front with a baseball bat in his hand.

"There a problem here Harley?"

"Not anymore Mr. Dunbar. Bruce and his friends were just leaving. Weren't you Bruce?" He wiped his face with one hand and flicked chocolate malted onto the ground.

"You'll pay for this. All of you, you hear me? No one humiliates Bruce Wayne and gets away with it! C'mon boys, lets blow this joint."

As the jocks walked back to their vehicles, Pam came running up as Jay and his friends laughed themselves silly watching a very soggy Bruce Wayne tuck his tail and run.

"Harls, what the heck just happened?"

"I'll explain later." Once Jay was able to get ahold of himself he smiled widely at Harley.

"That was pretty impressive, taking on that big, stupid jock. I bet he has balls for brains." Pam looked from Harley to the three greasers.

"Hey Harls, you gonna introduce me to your friends or what?"

"Oh, sorry. Fellas, this is my best friend Pam. Pam, this is Jay, Harvey and Zsasz."

"Well hello boys. _Very_ nice to meet you." Harvey's eyes nearly popped out of his head as he looked the redhead up and down.

"The feeling's mutual, baby." Pam looked over at Victor.

"Cat got your tongue big boy?" Jay interjected.

"Zsasz doesn't say much, but don't let him fool you. He never misses a trick." Harley looked at her empty tray.

"Oh my gosh, your drinks!"

"Forget the drinks. What time do you get off?" She looked at her watch.

"In ten minutes."

"You ever been on a motorcycle before, dollface?" She shook her head. "How about I give you a lift home?" She pulled her hand over her mouth to hide the grin that was growing.

"I'd like that. Oh, but I have to get Pam home too!" Harvey looked at Zsasz and pointed his thumb at the backseat.

"Zsasz, scoot." Harvey opened the passenger door to the T-bird and looked at Pam. "Your chariot my lady." Pam smiled and got into the T-Bird.

"Wow, hot car!" She smiled at Harley. "Call me tomorrow, you owe me details!"

oOoOoOoOoOo

"Joker, we gotta go before someone stumbles onto Davis's body." J looked up from his unconscious girlfriend.

"Yeah okay, give me one more minute, I'll be right out." He stood and leaned over her bed.

"Well kiddo, I gotta go but I'll try to get back here to see you soon. Hopefully you'll be awake by the next time I bust out of the hole. See you later baby."

He leaned down and gently placed his lips to hers. Then stood, sighed and left the medical center to be taken back to solitary.

oOoOoOoOoOo

Ten minutes later Harley came out of Dunbar's in regular shoes, her skates hanging over one shoulder. Most of the crowd had already gone, there were only a few tables left inside that were finishing their meals. Jay was waiting for her in the parking lot.

"You have a jacket kiddo?"

"No, it was warm earlier. I didn't think I'd need one."

He took off his leather jacket and held it open so she could slip her arms into it. It was ridiculously big on her. She pushed the sleeves up and zipped the front.

"Looks good on you." He swung a long leg over the seat of the bike. "Hop on." She got on the bike behind him and placed her feet on the rear pegs. He turned the engine over and it roared to life, the machine vibrating beneath her. "So it's Harley's first time on a Harley. Well hold on tight babe, it's gonna be a wild ride!"

She wrapped her arms around his thin torso and pressed her head to his back. It felt strange holding onto a strange man so tightly, but she couldn't deny that it was wonderful. The wind whipped her hair as they tore through the streets. It was an exhilarating experience and she smiled madly.

"Woo hoo! This is amazing!" She yelled over the roar of the engine.

"You ain't seen nothing yet, toots! Hang on!" He popped a wheelie and she screamed both in fear and excitement. As they entered her neighborhood he slowed the bike to a crawl. "So are your folks gonna flip their lids if I drop you off in front of your house?"

"Probably. You can drop me off on the corner."

He stopped the bike, turned off the engine and put down the kickstand. She slid off of the back of the bike, slipped off his jacket and handed it back.

"Thanks for the ride. It was a lot of fun." He gave her one of those grins that made his mouth look almost like it had too many teeth.

"Which one is you?" he asked as he nodded down the block. She pointed to a big blue house with a white picket fence. "Swanky digs. What's your old man do?"

"He's an advertising executive." She adjusted the skates on her shoulder as she was suddenly at a loss for words. "Well I guess I better get going." He grabbed her hand before she could walk away.

"Let me take you to the drive-in tomorrow. There's a double feature playing." She giggled.

"How are we going to go to the drive-in on a motorcycle?"

"That T-Bird Harvey was driving tonight? Well it's mine. So what do ya say? Let me take you out." Her heart started pounding again and her stomach had butterflies.

"Okay." He smiled broadly.

"Great I'll pick you up at eight."

He pulled her closer to the bike and gazed into her baby blue eyes. Very slowly their faces drew together until their lips met, just briefly, but it was like lightening striking.

"Wow."

"Yeah, wow." She blushed again and looked towards her house.

"I better go before my folks start to worry. I'll see you tomorrow night."

"I'll be there with bells on."

As she ran into the house and up to her room she heard his motorcycle engine start and listened as the sound faded into the night. She'd just had her very first kiss and it was amazing! She fell backwards onto her bed feeling giddy and lightheaded. The wind was taken out of her sails when she noticed the clown doll was sitting on her pillow staring at her with those dead looking button eyes. That vague feeling of wrongness returned. She grabbed the doll and shoved it under her bed.

Just as she thought the voices and visions had finally gone away, they were back again. She tried to push it all away and focus on Jay as she tried to fall asleep. She had an honest to goodness date, her first. The excitement and dread slowly faded and although it took a while, eventually she was able to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Happy Daze Chapter 3

Joan entered the Intensive Treatment ward to start her daily rounds. She had stopped into the medical center to check on Harley. The nurses were changing the dressings on her burns as she arrived. She was still unconscious and there was no indication that would change anytime soon. As she walked down the hallway Jonathan Crane called out to her.

"Dr. Leland! I must speak with you!"

She turned towards his cell and looked into his eyes relieved to see that he was lucid today, which was a blessing. She wasn't emotionally prepared for any unexpected outbursts today.

"Yes Jonathan, what can I do for you?"

"It's concerning Harley. How is she? Has there been any improvement in her condition?"

Joan noted that he was very obviously genuinely distressed over the situation. She knew Harley studied under him when he was still teaching at Gotham university and that they had a sort of friendship between them.

"Unfortunately Jonathan, there's been no change. I wish I had more I could tell you."

"Dr. Leland I know I have done nothing to entitle me to ask a favor of you, but I'm hoping you'll find it in your heart to grant me one anyway. Joan please, as a former colleague, I'm begging you to allow me to see her."

She pursed her lips and considered his request. He had been rather well behaved of late and who knew what it might take to snap Harley out of her vegetative state, if anything could. Maybe as a fellow psychiatrist, rogue and friend he may have some kind of impact on her. It was at least worth a shot. She leveled her eyes at him.

"I'll see what I can do, Jonathan."

"Thank you Dr. Leland, I appreciate it."

oOoOoOoOoOo

In the morning when she woke Harley was relieved to find the clown doll was not in her bed again. Thinking about the previous evening she grinned remembering the exhilaration of riding on the back of Jay's motorcycle, arms gripping his waist and the wind blowing in her hair, then that electrifying first kiss. She was excited and nervous about their date tonight. She opened her closet so she could figure out what to wear to the drive-in. She felt guilty, but she knew she was going to have to lie to her parents about it. She was seventeen so they wouldn't have a problem with her going on a date, but her father would have a cow if he knew his daughter was going on a date with a greaser dropout from the Bowery. Sick of rummaging through her closet she finally decided on a knee length, off-white skirt that had red roses embroidered onto it, a fitted white blouse and a red cardigan sweater. She hoped Jay liked it.

As she finished eating breakfast with her family it suddenly occurred to her that she had promised Jonathan she would stop by his house today to see his science fair project. She quickly got dressed in a pair of striped clam digger pants and a black sleeveless top and bounded down to the garage to get her bicycle. Jonathan lived about ten blocks away in one of the newer, more expensive developments. Jonathan's father, Gerald, was a research scientist for the US government and made a handsome salary. Pam's house was on the way to Jonathan's, so she decided to stop by on her way to fill Pam in about Jay and their date. It was a warm, bright and sunny day and as she rode through the streets she waved to her friends and neighbors. Pam's house was on a dead end street near the train tracks. It was a tiny bungalow with a disheveled front yard. You'd never know, looking at it from this angle, that there was a beautiful, well maintained garden in the backyard. That's where she found Pam, kneeling on the grass in a pair of shorts, a sleeveless shirt and a wide brimmed hat weeding her vegetable garden and humming 'All I Have to Do Is Dream' softly to herself.

"The Everly Brothers. Good tune Pam-a-lamb." Pam jumped and turned to look at Harley.

"Jeez Louise! You scared me, you spaz! Ya know, it's rude to sneak up on people like that." Harley giggled.

"Sorry. So, how was your ride home last night?" Pam stood up and brushed dirt and grass off of her knees then looked at Harley and raised an eyebrow.

"Interesting. That Harvey may not be much to look at with that birthmark on his face, but he really is a charmer. I kinda like him. The other one though, he gave me the creeps. Anyway how was _your_ ride home?" Harley's entire face brightened.

" _AMAZING!_ I don't know what it is, but there's just something about Jay that drew me right in." She paused for a moment. "He kissed me."

" _What?_ You finally had your first kiss? What was it like?"

"It was quick but it was unforgettable. It was like…magic. He's taking me to the drive-in tonight."

"Really? That's terrific! Good for you!" Harley bit her lip.

"Yeah here's the thing though Pam, I have to tell my folks I'm going with you."

"Oh right, your dad wouldn't be too pleased you're going out with a greaser, I guess." She scoffed. "He's such a square! Don't worry I'll cover for you." Harley hugged her friend.

"Thanks a bunch Pam! I knew I could rely on you."

"So you wanna come with me to Woolworth's? I need a new watering can, mine sprung a leak."

"Sorry Pam, but I can't. I promised Jonathan I'd go see his mice today. I'd heading over there now." Pam rolled her eyes.

"I don't understand why you hang out with that nerd."

"Pam, we've known each other since the second grade. He's had a really rough time of it since his mom died and you see how the kids at school treat him. He's a nice guy and I feel kinda bad for him. You need to give him a chance."

"I've given him plenty. I just can't stomach him. Oh well, have fun with the rodent. And his mice." Harley shook her head and got back on her bike.

"Bye Pam."

oOoOoOoOo

Joan brought an orderly with her into the Intensive Treatment ward and approached Jonathan's cell. He was pleasantly surprised to see them standing on the opposite side of the bulletproof glass.

"Here's the deal Jonathan. Gary is going to take you down to the medical center to see Harley. You get thirty minutes. Gary will be in the room but he'll sit by the door so you can have some privacy. If you're calm and cooperative, you'll be able to go back and see her again. Understood?"

"Yes Joan, and thank you. You don't know what this means to me."

"Oh, I think I may have an idea."

Joan swiped her key card and the cell door slid open. The orderly, Gary, escorted Jonathan through the asylum to the medical center. Once inside, Gary took a seat near the door and Jonathan slowly approached Harley's bedside. He was shocked at the state of her.

"Oh Harley, what did he do to you this time?" He sat in the chair beside her bed. "Harley, if you come out of this, I hope to God that you'll finally see what an irredeemable monster that evil clown is! I wish I knew what you saw in him. You're too good for the likes of him. He doesn't deserve you!" He pulled his chair closer and took her hand in his.

"You know I've always cared about you Harley. Since the very first time I laid eyes on you I was in awe of your beauty. In time I came to appreciate your tinkling laugh, your enthusiasm, your intellect and your kindness. I admit I decided to mentor you for purely selfish reasons, I had hoped that in time you may come to care for me as well. I could have been a good man to you Harley. I still can if only you'd come back to us. Unlike your current lover, I would _never_ strike you, nor would I insult or belittle you. I would put you on a pedestal. I would take care of your needs, be mindful of your feelings, care for you when you're ill. That clown will never take you to wife, Harley. That would not be the case with me. I would marry you in an instant if you'd have me. I've dreamt of it for many years now." He gazed at her face hoping for any movement at all. A twitch, a tremble, but there was nothing. He sighed heavily.

"In some small way I blame myself for all this. Perhaps if I had the courage to declare myself, reveal my true feelings to you, you would never had gotten involved with the Joker. You would have kept your medical license and had a wonderful psychiatric career and perhaps both of us would have remained doctors at the asylum instead of becoming inmates. I feel we could have saved one another. We could have lived a very happy and mundane life full of love and perhaps even children. I suppose it's too late for that now, but I am still confident that I could make you happier than you've ever been with the Joker." From across the room Gary called out to him.

"Crane, your time is up. We need to get back to I.T."

"Yes just one moment please." He released her hand and stood. "If you manage to make it through this I vow to finally tell you how I truly feel. Please come back to us." He leaned over and planted a kiss on her cheek. "You need to come back to us Harley. Please, I can't bear to lose you even if you choose that grinning demon over me when you return. You mean far too much to me." He reached down and gave her hand a light squeeze then let Gary escort him back to his cell.

oOoOoOoOo

Harley pulled her bike into the Crane's driveway and put the kickstand down. She skipped to the door and rang the bell. Seconds later Jonathan answered, smiling broadly.

"Harleen, thank you for coming." She smiled back at him.

"I told you I would and here I am." she replied brightly.

"Please come in."

Her pigtails bounced with her steps as she entered his home. The house was very masculine and sparsely decorated. Jonathan's mother passed away when he was ten years old. Since then it had been just him and his father, a very strict and humorless man who had removed all reminders of his late wife from the house.

"Can I get you something to drink, Harleen? I have cold Cokes in the fridge." She followed him into the kitchen.

"A Coke sounds great. Thanks Johnny."

He smiled to himself. She was the only person who ever called him Johnny and he loved the way it sounded coming from her lips. He pulled two sodas from the cooler, and popped the bottle caps off before handing her one.

"So where's the science fair project?"

"Out in the garage. My father won't allow animals in the house, research or no research."

He led her to the garage where he had six mice in a tank on the table in the center of the garage. Harley heard a meowing sound and turned to investigate. A gray tabby cat padded over to her and began winding itself around her legs.

"A kitty!" She knelt down to scratch the cat behind it's ears and it began purring loudly. "Johnny, when did you get a cat?"

"Well he's not really mine, just a neighborhood stray I've been feeding. I needed him for my project." Harley stood back up and peered into the tank.

"So what are you doing with cats and mice?"

"I am using the cat to scare the mice. This is my control group."

He pulled out a tank that was covered with a blanket. Harley was bouncing on the balls of her feet. She was only half paying attention. She was so excited about her date she couldn't seem to concentrate or keep still. She sort of drifted off as Jonathan talked about monitoring the fear response in the mice versus the control group using the same parameters or some such jibber jabber.

"Harleen?" She snapped out of her daydreaming.

"I'm sorry Jonathan, what were you saying?"

"Are you alright? You were just staring off into space with this odd smile on your face." She blushed.

"Sorry. It's just that…...I met someone." A huge grin spread across her face.

"As in a gentleman caller?"

" _YES!_ He's really handsome. He has this amazing motorcycle and he took me for a ride on it last night. It was so cool! He's a little older than me, he works as a mechanic in the Bowery. We're going out on a date to the Fly-In Drive-In tonight. He's the living end." Jonathan noticeably deflated.

"Oh." He sadly looked down at his shoes.

"Johnny? What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

She narrowed her eyes and studied him. His shoulders were slumped and his earlier excitement at showing off his experiment was nonexistent.

"Johnny, come on, you're obviously upset. I'm sorry I drifted off, I know how excited you were to show me your science fair project. Please go on, I promise I'll pay attention." He took a deep breath.

"It's not that Harleen. It's just I had hoped to ask you join me for a soda, but I suppose I waited too long."

"Oh Johnny we can do that after school any old time. But this, this is a real honest to goodness date!" He slowly lifted his blue eyes to meet hers.

"I had meant for my invitation to be also. A real date I mean."

Harley took in a sharp breath and covered her mouth with her hand. She was completely in shock.

"Oh. Jonathan, I'm sorry. I just don't feel _that_ way about you. Your friendship means a lot to me. I would never want to put it in jeopardy by trying to turn it into something more."

"Of course you wouldn't. Very well, but Harley please do me the favor of being careful with this fellow. Bikers and greasers are a tough lot and trouble tends to follow them." She smiled at him again.

"Of course I will. Thank you for understanding." She leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. He immediately turned bright red. "I really have to run though. I have a lot to do today. Bye Johnny!"

"Goodbye Harleen." He replied sorrowfully.

When Harley got home her little brother was in the yard trying desperately to hula-hoop. She smiled as she watched him get more and more frustrated.

"You want me to show you how to do it Nicky?" Her brother wrinkled up his nose at her.

"Who's Nicky?" Why had she called him that name? It seemed so familiar and it slipped out so naturally.

"I'm sorry Barry, I guess I'm a little distracted today."

She had gone all day without having a vision or hearing any voices. She finally thought she was okay but her head was screaming that Nicky was her nephew. But she didn't have any nephews, Barry was her only sibling and he was only eight years old. But that wasn't right either. Barry was only four years younger than her, she felt certain of it, but he was eight and she was seventeen. That feeling of her mind being split in two was so pervasive she wanted to scream.

"So? Are you gonna show me or not?" For the sake of her sibling she did her best to shake off her dread.

"Sorry Barry, yeah sure. Here you want to do it like this."

She spent about twenty minutes hula-hooping with her brother and by the end he just about had the hang of it. She ruffed his hair.

"There you go, just keep it up and you'll be a master hula-hooper in no time! I have to go get in the shower now. Where's mom and dad?"

"Dad went to the hardware store. Mom's inside."

She found her mother in the living room reading a book.

"Hi mom!" She looked up from her romance novel.

"Hi sweetie. How is Jonathan?" Harley sighed and sat down on the ottoman. "What's the matter?"

"Jonathan asked me out on a date."

"Well, that's great honey!"

"No, it's not, mom. I like him as a friend and that's all. I know I hurt his feelings when I turned him down."

"Well that's too bad. He'll get over it in time though, don't worry."

"I hope so. Well, I have to go get in the shower. Pam and I are going to the drive-in tonight. There's a double feature playing."

"Who's driving you?" She bit her lip.

"Pam's cousin George." She hated lying to her folks.

"Okay sweetie have fun tonight."

She emerged from the shower in her robe and went into her room to get ready for her date. Jester was sitting in the middle of her bed, propped up on the pillows staring at her.

"Oh, it's you again. How did you get there?" Maybe her mother saw him on the floor and put him on her bed. She walked over and picked it up. "What is it? What are you trying to tell me?"

Her head was suddenly filled with maniacal laughter and visions of hyenas and a grinning clown. Then in her minds eye she saw a large white hand clutching a smaller pink hand against a purple bed pillow. She saw roses, candles, knives, guns and explosions. It didn't make any sense. What was happening to her? She dropped the doll and her head cleared.

"What do you want from me?" she screamed at the stuffed clown. Its smile seemed to mock her. She picked it back up and put it in the back of her closet. "There, that ought to be the last I see of you!"

As she got ready for her date she calmed down. Her anticipation began to grow and her stomach was all jittery. Her first real date with a boy! She dressed, put on a tiny bit of mascara and lip gloss and did her hair. She wore it down tonight and put on a wide red headband to help keep it out of her face. She spun in the mirror and was happy with the overall result. Hopefully Jay would be too.

She looked at the clock. It was quarter to eight. She grabbed a jacket and pranced down the stairs. Her parents and brother were in the living room laughing as they watched I Love Lucy.

"Okay, I'm heading to Pam's now so we can go to the drive-in. I'll see you later!" Her mother looked up from the television.

"Why, don't you look nice. Okay sweetie. Be careful and have fun."

"Don't be home too late." Added her father.

"Okay I won't. Bye!"

She walked down to the corner where Jay had dropped her off last night and saw him in the blue Thunderbird waiting for her. He hopped out of the car and opened the passenger door for her.

"Hoo-boy, I am one lucky guy! You look beautiful baby."

She felt her cheeks grow warm. He was dressed similarly as had had been the previous night except his tee shirt was black instead of white.

"Thanks, you don't look too bad yourself." She sat down in the passenger seat. "This is a great car!"

"It's totally cherry too. They just came out with a four seater this year. I had to have one."

She marveled at the blue and white interior, the soft leather seats and shiny chrome on the dashboard.

"How could you afford something like this?"

She hadn't asked his age but he couldn't be more than twenty-one. He put the car in gear and pulled away from the curb.

"Well, I dropped out at sixteen and started working in my old man's garage. I saved as much as I could, then when the old man died I took over the family business. It's a good living. Then I have a sideline business that supplements my income."

"What kind of sideline business?" He shot her a sidelong glance.

"The less you know about that the better." She was a little shocked at his response.

"It's not illegal is it?"

"That's on a need to know basis and no offense or nothing, but you don't need to know." It wasn't an admission, but if it _were_ legal she was sure he'd disclose it. She wasn't sure how she felt about that. "I hope that doesn't scare you off or anything."

"No, it's not gonna scare me off. Where's your shop at anyway?"

He quietly sighed in relief. He shouldn't have mentioned his side business. When you're dealing with the mob the less said the better.

"It's down on East Bank Street in the Bowery. J & S Auto Repair."

"Who's the S?"

"My old man. His name was Sam. It used to be S & J Auto Repair. When he died I didn't have the heart to take his initial off, so I just switched them around instead." She thought it was sweet that he kept his father's initial in his businesses' name.

"How did he die?" He hated that he was about to lie to her but he couldn't talk about that either.

"Heart attack. It was quick. Well, dollface, here we are!"

They pulled into the Fly-In Drive-In which was located not far from the Gotham airport. It was a pretty big drive-in and on a Saturday night the place got packed. He pulled them into a spot towards the back of the lot. He was hoping to play a little backseat bingo if she was receptive and thought it would provide a little more privacy than parking up front. The movies playing tonight were Vertigo, an Alfred Hitchcock flick starring James Stewart and Karen Novak and The Blob a horror film starring a new actor named Steve McQueen. Jay leaned out and pulled the speaker off the pole and attached it to the mostly rolled down window.

"C'mon doll, let's go get some snacks before the flick starts."

He threw his arm over her shoulders and led her towards the concession stand. It felt like a _very_ familiar gesture, as if he'd been doing it for years. As they waited in line at the snack bar Harley heard a familiar and nasty voice from behind her.

"So Jay, what are ya, slumming it or something?" They turned to see Roxanne Sutton sneering at them. Jay gave her a cool stare.

"Well, Roxy Rocket, not surprised to see you here." She gave Harley a nasty look.

"Why you wasting your time on little Miss Priss here? I'm surprised she's not wearing daddy's virgin pin." Jay glanced at Harley and saw anger in her face. He leaned towards her.

"Don't let her rattle your cage, baby. You know why they call her Roxy 'Rocket', don't ya?" She shook her head.

"No actually I don't."

"Because anytime she's in the backseat with a guy, the car is _always_ rocking. Ain't that right Roxy?"

"Screw you Jay!"

"Bite the weenie, Roxy." She flipped him the bird, turned in a huff and stormed off.

"How do you know Roxanne?" He rubbed the back of his neck and flushed slightly pink.

"Just from around."

"You went with her didn't you?"

To his relief they were next in line. He ordered them popcorn, hot dogs and sodas. Harley had her arms crossed over her chest and looked slightly annoyed. She wanted an answer to her question. She kept her trap shut until they got back in the car. He got into the backseat and she followed. The only bad thing about the T-Bird was that the front seats were bucket aka 'birth control' seats. Once they were settled she asked her question again.

"Did you go with Roxy?"

"I didn't _go_ with her. This one time I just kinda _went_ with her. It didn't mean anything."

She was not pleased. It wasn't like she expected him to tell her he was a virgin, but Roxy? Of all the people he could have gone with it was Roxy Rocket? She got quiet.

"Oh come on babe, it was just the one time and it was ages ago. She meant nothing to me. Not like you do." She turned towards him.

"I'll have you know right now, I'm no prude, but I'm not _that_ type of girl." Well so much for necking tonight.

"I know baby, and I like that about you. I promise not to pressure you into anything you aren't ready for." He was thinking, 'Damn, damn, damn! If only that floozy didn't show up and spoil his plans'.

The movie started and they didn't talk for a little while. He wanted to put his arm around her shoulders but didn't dare just yet. He needed to lighten the mood maybe make her laugh.

"You wanna hear a joke?" She looked at him mildly. She was still a little peeved but she was starting to get over it.

"Sure."

"What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish?"

"I don't know."

"Every morning you rise and shine!"

She giggled and he smiled broadly at her. She was struck with a feeling of familiarity as she looked at that smile, laughing at his joke. She looked into his green eyes and was struck with a strong urge to kiss him. He could see the longing in her eyes and was tempted to act on it, but he was afraid to ruin their date by moving too fast. Instead he put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her a little closer. She leaned her head onto his shoulder and they munched on popcorn and watched the rest of the movie. During intermission they decided to stretch their legs and walk around. Harley saw a lot of her classmates there and stopped to chat with a few of them. She could see the awe in their faces of seeing her with an older guy, and a greaser at that. As she chatted, Jay pulled out a comb and fixed his hair.

"Look Selina, there's that greaser trash again. What are ya doing on this side of town? We don't tolerate greaser derelicts on our turf stealing our chicks."

Jay and Harley turned to see Bruce Wayne standing there with his arm around Selina Kyle.

"You looking for a knuckle sandwich, jockstrap? Cause if you are I'd be happy to feed ya one." Harley stepped over, wrapped her arm around Jay's and whispered to him.

"Please don't let him ruin our date. We were just getting back on track."

"Outta respect for my lady, I'm gonna walk away. But if I _ever_ see you on the street, you better hope you have your crew with you to back you up because I will _waste_ you, meathead." Bruce laughed.

"I don't see a lady here. You see a lady Selina?"

"Sure don't baby." Harley felt Jay's whole body tense.

"Jay don't!" Jay pointed his finger at Bruce.

"You better watch your back rich boy. C'mon baby let's blast off."

Jay was seething as they walked back to the car.

"Please don't let Bruce ruin the rest of our night."

"I'm not baby, I'm just hacked. That stuck up, entitled candyass is just cruisin' for a bruisin' and I'm just the guy to give it to him. Don't you worry, he'll get his eventually."

The second feature started. Jay was finally able to brush off his encounter with Bruce and relax again. Harley was not great with horror movies and the first time the Blob ate someone she screamed and clung to Jay. He wrapped his arm snugly around her and pulled her close. He gently brushed her hair back over her ear and she looked up into his face. Their eyes locked and another of those electric pulses passed between them. Jay placed one hand against the side of her face and slowly brought his face towards hers. When he felt she wasn't going to protest he pressed his lips to hers. She smelled like lilacs and cotton candy and her lips tasted like cherry lip-gloss. He started gently but after a few minutes he delicately slipped his tongue between her lips, seeking out hers. Harley opened her eyes in shock. This was only her second kiss. She knew what a French kiss was of course, she just didn't know what it would feel like. It was wet, and a little strange but she had to admit that she liked it. She relaxed and followed his lead. His tongue was slick with saliva and rough against hers. He tasted faintly of mint. His hands very slowly explored her neck and back to begin with, but as they got more into the making out session he gently moved his hand into a position where he could cop a feel. She allowed it for a few moments, then moved his hand back down to rest on her waist. Jay had a full on woody that was straining against his jeans but he knew she was inexperienced and that he was going to go home with blue balls tonight. He pulled back so they could catch their breath. They were both panting slightly.

"Harley, you are really something else. Please tell me I can take you out again after tonight."

"Yes. I'd really like that." Another of those toothy grins stretched across his face.

"Can you swing?" He was asking her if she knew how to swing dance.

"Of course I can. I'm a gymnast."

His eyes rolled into the back of his head thinking about the naughty things he could get up to with a gymnast. Why did she have to mention that? His pants suddenly felt just a little bit tighter.

"Will your folks let you out on a weeknight?" She nodded.

"As long as you get me home by nine, yeah."

"Tuesday they're having swing night at the dance hall. Will you go?"

"I'd love to!"

They went back to making out for the rest of the movie. Once the flick ended Jay took Harley back to the corner by her house to drop her off. They exchanged phone numbers. Jay leaned in for one last kiss before he let her get out of the car.

"I really like you Harley."

"I really like you too Jay."

"I'll be counting the minutes until Tuesday. You better skedaddle before your folks wonder what happened to you."

"Thank you for tonight. All things considered it was really a lot of fun."

She skipped back to her house and he watched her go. Boy, was he going to have to take a cold shower when he got home. She was an absolute fox. He made sure she got inside her house before pulling away to go back to his apartment in the Bowery.

Harley said goodnight to her folks and ran up to her bedroom feeling giddy and lightheaded. Her lips were tingly from all of the kissing. She stopped short when she saw that Jester was sitting in the middle of her bed again, but instead of that maniacal smile the clown had a long frown on its doll face and the eyes seemed sad instead of menacing.

"Why can't I just have one day without you turning up? What? What do you want from me?" she asked the doll.

It stared sadly back at her in silence. She put him back in her closet and got ready for bed running her date with Jay through her head as her heart fluttered in her chest. She couldn't wait to see him again. It's like they were made for each other. She felt like she had known him for longer than two days, in fact she was so comfortable with him it felt like they'd been dating for years. She had no strange dreams that night for the first time since her accident. The only thing she dreamt of was Jay.

 **A/N – Sorry it took so long to update. I am making the chapters longer in this story so they're taking a bit longer to write. I threw a little role reversal into our dream state, I thought it would be fun to write a chaste Harley and a horny J. So we learned a few things about Jay on our date, what does everyone think so far? A huge thank you to all of my reviewers, followers and faves! You guys help make me a better writer. Thanks for sharing the journey with me.**


	4. Chapter 4

Happy Daze Chapter 4

Ivy had been in solitary for three full days already and the lack of sunlight was beginning to take its toll on her altered body chemistry. Her skin was starting to shrivel and turn from its normal celadon green to a light brown. Her hair and nails were brittle and she felt completely dehydrated. She could barely muster the energy to stand up. The door to the solitary block loudly slid open and soft heel clicks approached. The door to her cell swung open and from her cot she could just barely make out the figure of Joan Leland and two orderlies in the dim light.

"Take her immediately to the showers. She gets thirty minutes there, thirty minutes in the recreation yard then she goes back to her cell."

"I want to see her." Ivy croaked. Joan shook her head as she looked down at the fragile looking inmate.

"You're in no shape to see her right now. If you behave yourself and cooperate with the staff, I'll allow you a visit when you're feeling up to it. Okay?"

Ivy was in no position to argue. She allowed the orderlies to help her off the bed and to the showers where she would be able to rehydrate herself. As Joan turned to follow them off the block she heard Joker calling to her.

"Hey Doc, what about me?" Joan sighed and walked to the end of the block to stand in front of his cell.

"What about you, Joker?"

"Pammy and I came in on the same day, if she's getting out, so should I."

"Unlike Pam, you don't have a body chemistry that requires constant sunlight to survive. Therefore, she goes back to her cell and you stay down here."

"She kicked me in the face, yet she gets to go back to her cell. I never laid a hand on her but I get stuck in the hole. Where's the justice in that?" Joan scoffed.

"Oh there's plenty of justice in that Joker. You put Harley in a coma she may never wake up from! That's why you're in the hole." He threw his hands in the air.

"It was an accident for chissakes!" Joan shook her head.

"Even if I did believe that, which I don't, you still belong down here. I'm sorry, but you're in solitary for the rest of the week." Joan turned on her heel to leave.

"Fine! The least you can do is let me see her. Thirty minutes is all I'm asking for, it's not an unreasonable request." Joan turned back around and glared at the clown.

"If you think for one instant I'm going to allow you anywhere near Harley, you're crazier than I thought. You don't get to see her now, later, maybe ever again! And if she comes out of this I will do _everything_ in my power to keep you apart! If you actually _do_ care about her in any real capacity, you'll leave her the hell alone and let her get on with her life. Maybe I should add another week onto your stay down here so you can think about that." Joan turned and marched down the block towards the outer door. Joker was livid.

"You just try it Leland! Harley will never leave me! That's the punchline to this joke! She needs me! She's _nothing_ without me! You hear me? You'll never be able to keep her away from me! _NEVER!_ Harley is _MINE!"_

He heard the block door slide back into place. He roared in frustration and punched his door several times until his knuckles came away bloody and throbbing. How dare that harpy try to interfere in his relationship with Harley? Harley was his personal property and everyone knew it! How many times had he left the ditz, only to have her come crawling back to him within a few weeks? He'd never be rid of her and she would never be able to live without him.

He needed to get out of solitary. He needed to talk to the Hatter. And he really needed to get to the medical center again. He paced his cell as he tried to figure out how to accomplish his goals.

oOoOoOoOo

Sunday dawned warm, bright and clear. It left Harley feeling odd. It never seemed to rain. But it always rained in Gotham, didn't it? She rolled over in her bed coming face to face with Jester, still looking sad and frowny.

"Good morning Mistah J. Why the long face?"

The doll didn't answer, just stared at her with those sad button eyes. She should be disturbed that this clown seemed to keep turning up in her bed but she had gotten used to it. What was actually distressing her was the fact that she vaguely remembered going to high school in Brooklyn which was simply impossible, wasn't it? She picked the clown up, rolled onto her back and held him out at arm's length. As she did so she was struck with another memory or vision that was so clear and felt so real she drew in a sharp breath. She was in a nightclub, dancing the tango with a life-sized Mr. J and the entire crowd was watching them.

"That can't be right? You're just a doll, aren't you?"

Jester remained silent. She needed to get to the bottom of all of this. She got dressed and joined her family in the kitchen. Her mother was scrambling eggs and making homemade waffles. Without thinking about what she was doing, Harley walked over to the coffee pot and poured herself a mug full of the steaming liquid. When she looked up, her mother was staring at her with a strange look on her face.

"What?"

"Honey, what are you doing?" Harley looked down at the mug of coffee in her hand.

"Having a cup of coffee just like any other morning." Her mother's brows drew together.

"But sweetie, you don't drink coffee. It'll stunt your growth." She took the mug from Harley and set it on the counter. "I'll pour you some freshly squeezed orange juice instead. You go on and sit down." Her father looked across the table at his daughter as Sharon placed the orange juice down in front of Harley.

"You okay princess? Mom says you've been acting peculiar since your fall." Harley rolled the cold glass of orange juice in her hands.

"Dad? Did we ever live in Bensonhurst, Brooklyn?" He was clearly taken aback.

"No. Our whole family is Gotham born and bred. Why do you ask?" She shrugged.

"Have you ever been arrested?" Nick's eyes widened.

"Of course not! Where is all of this coming from?"

"Just a dream I had last night. It seemed so real." Nick huffed out a relived laugh.

"Oh is that all, Pumpkin? You had me worried there for a minute. Dreams are funny things. Sometimes even after you wake up they stick with you because they seemed so realistic. That's nothing to fret about Princess."

Her mother brought over plates of waffles and eggs for each of them. Harley remained silent as they ate. She was feeling very unusual today and she needed something to take her mind off of things. As she picked at her plate she made the decision to take the bus to the Bowery and go surprise Jay at his garage. The thought cheered her up significantly and by the end of breakfast she was her usual bubbly self again.

She fished some money out from underneath her mattress, where she hid two years' worth of tips from Dunbar's and took enough to pay for bus fare and a little extra for spending. She made a sandwich and packed it in her backpack along with a banana and some cheese and crackers. She told her mother she was going to Robinson Park to feed the ducks. Instead she stopped at the corner of 5th Avenue and Gate Street to wait for the city bus that ran to the Bowery. She was a little nervous. She had never been to the Bowery alone and she hadn't called Jay to let him know she was coming. She hoped he wasn't mad that she decided to pop in unannounced.

The bus arrived about ten minutes later. She got on and sat in the front seat behind the driver. It took about twenty minutes to get to Jay's neighborhood. Unlike her part of town, which was primarily upper-middle class whites, his part of town was very integrated. Whites were the minority here and lived side by side with people of all different colors, races and religions. That might scare some of the kids from her school, but to Harley it was a relief to get out of her own neighborhood and experience new people and cultures. She had to walk about twelve blocks to get to East Bank Street. She had to admit this was a pretty seedy part of town, it was no Crime Alley of course, but it wasn't that far off either. She saw the sign about halfway down the block that read J & S Auto Repair and happily skipped toward it.

When she reached the garage she peeked into the open bay door to see a long set of legs, clad in navy blue Dickies work pants sticking out from underneath a 1948 Hudson Commodore. His silent companion, Victor Zsasz was perched on an empty milk crate handing tools over as they were requested. Neither of the men noticed her yet and she quietly looked on to see Jay at work.

"Zsasz, hand me a three eighths wrench and a size three Philips head screwdriver." Victor dug through the toolbox at his feet and handed over the tools. "We need to hurry up and get this done, buddy. They'll be here soon. Hand me the socket wrench again, will ya?"

Zsasz looked up at that moment and noticed Harley standing there watching the two of them. His eyes widened and he lightly kicked Jay in the leg. A pale hand shot out from under the car.

"Hey Zsasz, wake up out there. I need the socket wrench already." Zsasz kicked him harder and she heard a metallic ping that she assumed was Jay's head hitting the under-carriage of the car. "Oww! Hey Zsasz, what gives?"

Jay rolled out from under the car on the creeper seat he was lying on and shot Zsasz a nasty look. He had a big black mark on his forehead and grease was smeared on his chin, shirt and hands. Victor pointed outside of the garage and Jay's eyes followed until they lay upon Harley standing there in her plaid sleeveless dress smiling at him. His eyes bulged slightly in surprise at seeing her. He stood up and pulled a rag from his pocket and started to wipe his hands as he approached her.

"Well, isn't this a nice surprise? What are you doing here, Harley?" She shrugged.

"I needed to get out of the house and thought maybe you'd appreciate it if I brought you some lunch." He finished wiping his hands and stuck the rag back in his rear pocket.

"That is awfully thoughtful of you. I'm actually starving right now." He was suddenly struck in the back of the head by a wadded up towel. He spun to look at Victor, who was pointing down the street. "Shit. Babe, you have some really bad timing though." He suddenly looked a little panicked. "Look I hate to do this to you, but you can't be here right now. Come with me."

He grabbed her hand and brought her into the back of the garage where there was a cramped parts room.

"Jay what's going on?"

"Listen, there are some very dangerous men on their way in here right now. I need you to sit tight and keep quiet until they're gone. Can you do that for me?" She could hear the panic in his voice and nodded. "Good girl. I'll be back as soon as I can."

From her position in the parts room she could still hear what was going on in the other room fairly well. She heard Jay address whoever his mysterious visitors were.

"Don Falcone, boys, a pleasure to see you as always."

"Enough with the chit-chat kid. Where's my money?" She heard some rummaging around.

"It's all there. The rest of the merchandise you're here for is out back if you wanna follow me."

Harley heard several sets of footsteps pass by and she held her breath for fear of discovery. She had heard of Carmine Falcone before. He was the head of the Falcone crime family, one of the most powerful and dangerous families in Gotham's underworld. What was Jay doing working with the mob? This had to be the sideline business he had told her about last night.

She felt like she had been hiding for at least a half hour when she heard voices coming towards her again. She listened carefully, not wanting to miss any details.

"You did good kid. You keep playing nice and delivering like this and maybe you won't end up like your old man, God rest his soul. That was a damn shame kid. I was real sorry it came to that. If only he kept his big trap shut he'd still be turning lug nuts today. Let's hope _you_ learned from _his_ mistakes."

"I won't let you down Mr. Falcone, you can rely on me."

"That's real good to hear. Your old man aside, I'd hate if anything happened to you or your loved ones over something stupid. You read me kid?"

"Loud and clear Mr. Falcone. You won't hear boo from me."

"Good, good. Here kid, a little bonus for a job well done."

"Thank you, sir. That's very generous of you."

"Yeah, that's me alright. Mr. Generosity himself. See ya in two weeks, kid."

"Bye Mr. Falcone."

She heard Jay approaching and a moment later he opened the door to the parts room.

"That was Carmine Falcone wasn't it? Do you work for him? Why was he here?" she asked in a rush. Jay huffed out a breath.

"C'mon let's go up to my place and I'll try to explain." He leaned over and yelled to Victor. "Zsasz, can you lock up, please? We're closing early."

Victor nodded and Jay took Harley's hand and led her out the back door of the garage. The yard behind the building was filled with cars and parts, most of which looked brand new. She was beginning to understand what exactly Jay did for the Falcone's. Attached to the rear of the garage was a rickety wooden staircase that led to a second floor apartment.

"Look, it's not much, but it's home." He said as he turned his key in the lock.

"Don't worry, I won't judge you."

He opened the door into the small apartment. They entered a tiny kitchen. It was simple with white appliances and a sickly green linoleum that seemed incredibly familiar to her for some unknown reason. It was slightly untidy, there were dirty dishes in the sink and the room could use a good scrubbing. The kitchen opened into a living room with a threadbare couch, a coffee table that had numerous rings in the wood surface from years of drinks being left on it without a coaster and a radio/record player combination. He had no television. She saw off one end of the room was a bathroom and through another door, a bedroom.

"Well this is it."

"It's nice." He rolled his eyes.

"You don't have to lie to me ya know."

"No I mean it. Most guys your age still live at home. You have your own place and business. It's fine, really." He pointed to the couch.

"Go ahead and have a seat. You mind if I get cleaned up a bit before we talk?"

"Yeah, of course, go ahead. Mind if I listen to the radio in the meantime?"

"Knock yourself out, kiddo."

She watched as he entered the bathroom, closing the door behind him. She turned on the radio and flipped it onto the local rock and roll station. She slowly walked around the room looking at the few photographs that were framed on the walls. There was one of Jay when he was about fifteen with a man who had to be his father standing in front of the garage, smiling. There was another of Jay as a baby with both of his parents. He must have gotten his coloring from his father, he was also pale and dark haired where his mother had more of an olive complexion and light hair. There was very little to look at. She suspected Jay and his father had moved here after Jay's mother died. It screamed 'bachelor.' He had a stack of records that she flipped through. He had good taste. She turned as she heard the bathroom door open. Jay stepped out with a white towel draped around his hips, steam pouring out of the room behind him. Harley giggled and covered her eyes but not before she got a big eyeful of his solid frame. He was thin but very muscular. She felt that warm feeling in the pit of her belly again.

"Sorry, I forgot to grab clean clothes before I got in the shower. Be right back." He said with a wink.

When he emerged from the bedroom, dressed in clean jeans and a tee shirt, Rockin' Robin by Bobby Day was playing on the radio. Jay walked over and shut it off.

"Hey, that was a good song!"

"Sorry babe, I _really_ hate that song."

"How come?" He looked thoughtful for a moment.

"It's just that I really, _really_ despise Robins. Don't ask me why." She had a flash of Mr. J in her head. Why was that familiar? Jay walked across the room.

"You want a soda or a beer or something?"

"A soda would be fine, thanks."

He returned moments later carrying a Coke and a bottle of Schlitz beer. He sat next to Harley and handed her the Coke.

"So I guess I owe you an explanation?" She took a sip of her soda and raised her eyes to meet his.

"So how did you get involved with the mob? Your dad?" He sighed and his shoulders slouched.

"More or less, but it wasn't his fault. He didn't really have a choice, and neither do I." She didn't say anything, just waited for him to explain. "When the Falcone family took over the neighborhood, they came here. My old man didn't want to work with them, but they threatened him. Threatened to kill me if he didn't cooperate. So he played along for a while. They would bring in the stolen goods and pop turned it into profit for the mob. He got sick of it though. He turned stoolie, went to the cops and became an informant. Stupid old bastard. The Falcone family owned half of the goddamn police force. They came here, dragged him out back, beat the hell out of him then shot him in the head for good measure. They made an example out of him to scare anyone else who was thinking about finking on the family."

A single tear escaped his eye and he dashed it away with the back of his hand. He took a big swig from his beer before continuing.

"After a few months the mob came back, offered me the same deal they gave my pop. I don't tow the line, they kill me and anyone I care about. That's why I hid you. The mob can't find out about you. The day may come when I screw up and they kill me anyway, but I don't want them to be able to use you to threaten me with. I want to keep you safe." Harley's face softened as she looked at him.

"Oh Jay, that's terrible! I'm so sorry. Isn't there anything that can be done? Why don't you leave town?" He sighed heavily.

"They'd just track me down. Plus, my entire life is here in Gotham. You're here. I don't want to leave." Her heart melted at that admission.

"But it's so dangerous for you here." He reached his hand down into the couch cushions.

"Don't worry too much." He pulled a revolver from its hiding place inside the couch. "I'm not completely helpless. I can protect myself." He looked at her wide eyes, put the gun down on the table and hung his head. "So, have I scared you off yet?"

"No. It's not your fault. You've been through so much." She placed her hand on the side of his face and pulled it up so he was looking at her again. "Jay I've never felt like this before, about anyone. I know it's risky. I know I should be running out your door, but I don't care. I want to be with you. If that means dealing with the mob, I'll take my chances."

He searched her face and could see the sincerity there. He had stayed alone all this time so he wouldn't be putting anyone else in danger. He should break this thing with Harley off now to save her from this kind of life but he was just so drawn to her. She was beautiful, kind and she had moxie. He had never felt this way about another person either. It wasn't just about sex with Harley, he enjoyed talking to her, spending time with her. The sex when it happened would just be a bonus.

She leaned in and pressed her lips to his before he had a chance to vocalize any of his thoughts and suddenly all thought left his head completely. The only thing that existed in that moment was her. The velvety softness of her lips, the pale blue of her eyes, the smoothness of her skin. Harley, in turn, got lost in him. She inhaled deeply smelling the Ivory soap he showered with, the Brylcreem he used in his hair. She could taste the yeasty flavor of beer on his tongue. She allowed him to lean her back onto the couch, the length of his body pressing against her and filling her with a desire she had never felt before. She could feel his hardness against her pelvis and she felt the seat of her panties grow damp. He moaned into her mouth as he felt her squirm against his rigid member. He took a chance and moved his hand to her breast. She didn't stop him this time.

He moved his head down her neck, suckling and nibbling the sensitive flesh. Harley drew in a sharp breath as his erection ground into her clitoris, igniting her passion and she moaned in pleasure which made him grind even harder. Their kiss deepened, an urgency building in them both.

"Oh Harley, I want you so bad." He whispered in her ear.

"I want you too, but I'm not ready yet. It's too soon." He was disappointed but it was no less than he expected.

"We can do other things to make each other feel good without going all the way." He lightly pinched her nipple and she shuddered against him. "Harley, may I touch you?"

"Yes. Please, yes."

He slowly unbuttoned the front of her dress revealing her pert breasts. He ran a hand under her bra, caressing the nipple. Her back arched in response. He carefully took one of her small pink nipples into his mouth, rolling his tongue around the hardened nub. Harley's skin broke out in gooseflesh at his touch and she thrust her pelvis involuntarily towards his. He groaned, feeling the friction of her against his stiffness. He sucked air in between his teeth in a mixture of pleasure and shock as he felt her hand slide between them, caressing the front of his jeans. Harley had never made out like this with a boy and although she understood the mechanics from health class she had no experience in the field. She was curious to learn. She glanced up at him through her lowered lashes as her face turned pink.

"Can I see it?" Jay stopped and looked at her as if she had sprouted a second head. "Was that wrong? Was I not supposed to say that?" He quickly shook his head.

"No not at all." He was just surprised.

He sat back and unbuckled his belt. She watched him as he disrobed. She could see it bulging in his jeans. As he lowered his fly she saw a small patch of coarse, black hair. He lowered his pants just enough so that his penis could spring free of its confinement. It was long and so hard it curled back towards his belly. She watched the veins throb beneath his skin. The tip of it was smooth and flushed a deep pink. She stared, fascinated.

"Can I touch it?" His eyes rolled back into his skull.

"Oh God, yes!"

She slowly rubbed her hand down the outside of it and Jay made a growling sound in the back of his throat. She watched his reaction as she gripped it in her palm and ran it back up his length. She noticed his breath hitch as her hand caressed the head, so she paid it more attention. She gripped him a little more firmly in her hand as she rubbed and caressed him. She watched as he used his hand to rub the area around his balls. She got the idea and followed his lead. She gradually increased her speed. Finally Jay couldn't hold back anymore.

"Oh God, Harley. I'm gonna come, don't stop." She felt his body begin to tense as she continued caressing his cock. Beneath her hand she felt him swell. "Oh God that's it. I'm coming."

His member pulsed beneath her hand as strands of warm semen spurted from him, covering her hand in the sticky goo. She watched in earnest as she continued manipulating him until he began to soften in her hand at which point she let go. He raised his head and looked at her with lidded eyes.

"Was that okay?" she asked.

"Okay? It was _way_ better than okay!" He noticed the mess on her hand and fumbled to zip up. "Sorry. Let me get you a towel."

He hopped up and grabbed a hand towel from the bathroom and handed it to her. She took it and cleaned herself up, then buttoned up her dress.

"Wait. You didn't get to finish. I, um, can do the same to you. If you want me to." Harley smiled sheepishly.

"Not today. Save it for next time we're alone." She leaned over and kissed him, glanced at the wall clock then back at Jay. "I have to go. My folks think I'm at the park and it's getting late."

"I'll drive you home."

oOoOoOoOo

In the solitary confinement block, Mike Stone was outside of Joker's cell receiving instructions from his boss.

"Okay this is what I need you to do. First, I need you to find two bottles of Ipecac. Tomorrow night, when it's time for dinner trays to be distributed I need you to deliver one to Tetch, but first I want you to mix the Ipecac syrup with whatever kind of drink will cover the flavor. Make sure he drinks it! Then you'll come down here and instead of water you'll give me the same. Do me a favor and make sure there's a guard on the block down here or it's gonna get messy in here real fast. Think you can handle that Mikey?"

"But boss they don't sell that kind of stuff in drugstores anymore."

"Don't you know any mob doctors? Jeez, I just have to do everything myself around here! Go to the warehouse in Tri-corner, ask Jerry where the medical supplies from the earthquake are. You'll find some there."

"You got it boss. You sure you want to do this?"

"It's really gonna suck, but how else am I gonna get both me and Tetch together in the medical center with Harley? A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do."

oOoOoOoOo

Jay's car was idling at the curb down the block from Harley's house. He glanced over at her.

"Thank you, ya know, for everything today." She smiled wickedly.

"It was my pleasure." She replied. He chuckled.

"I believe the pleasure was all mine and we need to rectify that next time." She felt the heat climbing up her face as she blushed. "I'm really glad everything that happened didn't scare you off. I like you a lot Harley. I….I think I may just be falling for you."

"Me too Jay. Me too." She glanced down the block. "I really have to run but see you Tuesday?"

"Even wild horses couldn't stop me."

She gave him a quick peck on the lips, then jogged down the street to her house. She greeted her family then ran up to her room. She needed to be sure. She opened her bedroom door and as she predicted, Jester was back on her bed again. He was no longer a sad clown. He looked furious with a scowl set into his little clown features. The thread holding the green button eyes on his face was red instead of the usual white that had been there just this morning. The arms of the doll were crossed over its chest.

"You _are_ trying to tell me something. But what? What is it? You know why my memories are fractured and why I'm hearing the voices and seeing visions, don't you? I wish you were a little less cryptic about it. I know something's wrong. But I'm not sure what and I don't know how to fix it. I don't even know if I want to fix it at this point. I have Jay now and he's amazing and I think I may be in love with him."

Jester fell over onto its side as if he'd been shot.

"Oh c'mon Mistah J, don't be like that. Just tell me straight."

She walked over preparing herself for whatever vision was going to come when she picked up the doll. And it did come. She was in a dark room on all fours, a hand gripped tightly around her throat. Her unseen partner was grunting and thrusting roughly into her from behind and she was happy. Truly, deliriously happy. She felt her partner stiffen as he emptied his seed inside of her, then they both fell panting onto the mattress. She rolled over to look at her partner. White skin, green hair, red toothy smile. She heard herself say, "I love you Puddin." And like that it was over and she was standing back in her bedroom again. She tried puzzling it out but was no closer to an answer than she was before. The vision only raised more questions that she ran through her head as she tried to fall asleep.

 **A/N - Sorry for the delay. It was a holiday weekend and between barbecues and going to the beach I got absolutely zero writing done. Hope this chapter was worth the wait.**


	5. Chapter 5

Happy Daze Chapter 5

Almost immediately after Ivy returned from the showers and a half hour of sunlight in the recreation yard, she began returning to her normal self. Her skin was soft and green again and her body was revitalized. Joan noticed the change and decided to grant her a thirty-minute visit to the medical center the following morning. Ivy was Harley's best friend and she hoped, since so far nothing had stirred Harley from her coma, perhaps she could make some kind of impact.

She was brought down shortly after breakfast by the two female orderlies on staff that day, Tara and Katelyn, since women were immune to her powerful mind controlling pheromones. The male staff had been instructed to stay out of the wing until Ivy was safely back in her cell. Unlike Harley's other visitors, Pam didn't sit in the chair but instead curled up into the hospital bed next to her best friend, careful not to cause her any kind of discomfort. She gently stroked her hair as she spoke.

"Hey Harls, it's Red. I don't know if this will have any effect, but I'm going to pump up my pheromones in the hopes it may help wake you up."

She concentrated and infused her pheromones with the strong scents of citrus, rosemary, peppermint and eucalyptus, all plants traditionally known to help wake and invigorate human beings.

"I wish I knew what to do to bring you out of this Harls. You have to come back to us. You have to come back to _me_. You're the only real friend I have and the only meatbag on this planet that I truly care about. Since you came into my life it's been crazy and chaotic and sometimes you drive me completely up a wall, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I love you Harley, as a friend, a sister and if you ever leave that evil, psychotic clown you sleep with, if nurtured perhaps the love we have for each other will blossom into something more."

Ivy's breath hitched and the tears that had been building in her eyes flowed over her lower lids leaving small damp spots on Harley's pillow.

"Harls, it's been four days now. Whatever it is that's keeping you trapped inside your own head, you need to let it go and come home. If you stay under too long there's a good chance of brain damage. And sweetie, your poor brain can't handle any more damage." She huffed out a short laugh as she wiped a tear from the tip of her nose. "I say that in the most loving way possible. Your friends are all worried about you, ya know. Jonathan is depressed, Dr. Leland is stressed, Jervis is nervous, Harvey and Eddie are concerned. You have so many friends here who care about you Harls."

She sniffled and gently laid one arm across Harley's torso, embracing her.

"I went on that job with you so I could protect you, but I failed you and I'm so, _so_ sorry. You're just so damn fast! By the time I registered that you were going after that cop, it was too late to do anything. Why do you _always_ put yourself in danger for the sake of the Joker?" She softly ran her hand down Harleys face. "I wish I understood why you love him. I know you have a big heart, it's one of the main reasons I love you so much, but he's been terrible to you over the years. He abuses you both physically and emotionally, he's framed you for crimes _he_ committed, he's abandoned you and he's tried to kill you how many times now? I pray that when you wake up you'll realize what he's done and finally leave him for good. And you _will_ wake up. I have to believe that."

Ivy intensified the pheromone cloud she was emitting. She looked at Harley's face. It was subtle, but her eyelids twitched.

"Harls? Can you hear me? It's me, it's Pam."

Harley's face twitched again almost imperceptibly. Ivy called out to the orderlies.

"One of you go get Dr. Leland! Hurry! Tell her it's an emergency!"

Several minutes later Joan burst through the doors of the medical wing with the orderly Katelyn in tow. She rushed over to the medical bay to find Ivy in Harley's bed, a brilliant smile on her face.

"Pamela, what are you doing? What's the matter?"

"Just watch."

She intensified her pheromone and scent cloud again. Joan watched curiously wondering just what Ivy was up to. Then she saw it. Harley's eyelids jerked. It was a tiny movement, but it was at least a reaction of some kind. It was the first they'd gotten out of her so far. Ivy explained to Joan about the pheromone mist. Joan opened Harley's eyes and shone a light into each, to which she got no response.

"She's still in deep, but any movement from her is a positive thing. Ivy, the orderlies are going to take you back to your cell now." Ivy began to protest but Joan waved her hands in the air and cut her off. "I want to observe her for the rest of the day. If there is no improvement, I'll have you brought back down in the morning and we'll run a few experiments. Try to pinpoint what's helping and what's not. If your pheromones are what is eliciting the response in her, we'll need to expose her to you in a more confined setting." Ivy let out the breath she was holding.

"Thank you Dr. Leland."

Down in the solitary wing Joker was giving his lackey, Mike, some final instructions.

"So about thirty minutes after you dose me and Tetch, the staff is going to get distracted pretty quickly. Fifteen minutes before the fireworks start, I need you to break into the property room. Grab anything labeled Mad Hatter or Jervis Tetch and stash it in the medical center. You shouldn't run into any problems getting it there. _Trust me_ when I say the staff will have their hands full for a while, but you'll need to work quickly before they bring either of us in. Think you can handle it?"

"Yeah boss, I'll get it there."

"Good. Mikey, you manage to pull this off and there's a bonus in your future. Let me down, and there will be _hell to pay!"_ he said menacingly. "A plan like this won't work more than once. Thank God for that, once is going to be bad enough. I can bust myself out, but busting out Tetch and an unconscious Harley changes the game, so this will have to do for now."

oOoOoOoOo

Jester was nowhere to be found when Harley got up. She looked in the closet, under the bed, behind her dresser. He simply disappeared. She finally gave up looking for him and got ready for school. She was starting to form some theories about what had been happening to her. It all started with the head trauma. The fact that she thought of it in those fancy terms told her there was much more to this than met the eye. She was starting to believe that her visions weren't visions at all, but memories trying to make it through to her. This brought up questions. If these visions are indeed memories, then how did she get _here?_ When she had her accident and was knocked unconscious, had she woken up or was she still asleep? Could this all be a dream she'd wake up from any second? If that _were_ the case though, how was she supposed to find her way home? Was she supposed to try to find her way home at all? More importantly did she want to go back to whatever life it was that was trying to reveal itself to her? Or was the answer simply that she was going insane? It all seemed probable at this point.

She didn't know for sure what this alternate life might be like, her memories were far too fractured to put together a picture, but she had to admit that she was content here. It was a little too perfect, but was that actually a bad thing? Then there was Jay to consider. They were just starting a romance that was quickly turning into something serious. Maybe they'd end up getting married, settling down, having kids. She was fairly certain that whatever it was that waited for her on the other side, it wasn't a simple life. She was drawn out of her musings by fingers snapping in front of her eyes and a familiar voice.

"Helloo. Anybody home?" Harley blinked a few times as she brushed her thoughts away and looked at Pam. "You okay?"

"Sorry, I just have a lot on my mind."

"So, you never told me about your date." Harley looked down at the table.

"No offense Red, but I don't feel much like talking right now." Pam eyes widened in surprise.

"Red? Harley are you sure you're okay? Jay didn't hurt you or anything did he?"

"No! Nothing like that at all. I just have a lot of things I need to think about. I think I'm gonna ditch classes for the rest of the day."

"What? Miss straight A's is ditching? Harley I wish you'd tell me what's going on with you."

"That's the thing, Red. I don't know what's going on and I need to figure it out." She grabbed her books off the table. "I'll talk to you later."

Harley snuck out of a side door that led to the fields behind the school. Once she hit the open air she took in a deep breath. Her nostrils filled with a strong combination of scents, lemons, grapefruit, rosemary, peppermint. She sneezed.

"Well that was really weird."

As she cut across the field and into the small woods behind the school she smelled that same combination of aromas, but stronger this time causing her to sneeze again. She looked around trying to figure out where the smell was coming from.

"What the hell?"

As she continued walking the voices came back. She could only pick out snippets but she heard her name being called by a voice that sounded similar to Pam's, but it was just slightly different in some way. She made it to a local playground and sat down on one of the swings to try to clear her head and puzzle out the questions plaguing her mind. That pervasive smell came back and she sneezed again.

"Where is that coming from?"

She looked around the park but there were no flowering trees in the vicinity that she could see. She spent an hour or so rolling her thoughts through her mind but still had no answers. She considered going to see Jay. At least being around him seemed to quiet the voices in her head.

oOoOoOoOo

Joan observed Harley throughout the rest of the afternoon, but since Ivy left the medical center there had been absolutely no movement. She checked her watch, it was getting late. She would have to bring Ivy back down tomorrow and try again, but for tonight she needed to get home and get some rest.

Mike Stone was in the Intensive Treatment ward, helping the orderlies hand out dinner trays. He followed Joker's instructions and mixed the Ipecac into Jervis's fruit punch and slid the tray through the slot. He waited around until he saw Tetch drink a good portion of it before heading down to solitary to bring Joker his bread and Ipecac laced water. He walked down the block and stopped in front of J's cell.

"Dinner boss. You still sure you want to do this?" Joker grabbed the cup and drained it.

"Too late now."

"If I were you I'd eat that bread before that stuff kicks in. It's going to be worse for you than for Tetch, he had three full meals today."

"Yeah, yeah. I'll be fine. Now hurry up and get to the property room."

"Dickens is on duty just outside the door. If you yell, he'll hear you."

Mike turned and hurried to the property room wondering when the Ipecac would take effect. Ipecac syrup was at one time widely used to treat accidental poisoning, generally a child who got into something they shouldn't have, such as household cleansers. The syrup induced violent vomiting for a period of 30-60 minutes, eliminating all of the contents of one's stomach which at the same time expelled the poison. Ipecac was now illegal in the United States for several reasons. The foremost being the abuse of the substance by bulimics and anorexics. The second reason for the ban on Ipecac was that the syrup could often have serious side effects and the use of it could be as harmful as the poison ingested. Activated charcoal was now used in place of Ipecac in accidental poisoning cases.

At the same time Mike was bringing the box of personal items to the medical ward, in the I.T. ward Jervis Tetch, The Mad Hatter, was sitting on his cot reading Through the Looking-Glass and What Alice Found There, a first edition. He suddenly started sweating. He ran his finger around his collar as it suddenly felt too tight. He felt a bit off but tried to ignore it and go back to his reading when the effects of the Ipecac hit him like a brick wall. He didn't even have time to react to the sudden nausea. He barely got his book out of the way before projectile vomiting across his cell. His reaction to the syrup was so severe it hit the cell door opposite him and ran down the glass in brownish-green streaks. Eddie Nygma, who was in the cell across from Tetch gagged at the sight. He called down the hall to the orderlies on duty. When they got to the cell they were met with the sight of Jervis kneeling in a puddle of his own sick, grasping the sides of the small commode in his cell as he retched.

After calling for a janitor and paging the doctor on duty they returned to his cell. The orderlies looked at one another. Neither wanted to go into the cell but they both knew they needed to get Tetch to the medical center. When it seemed the tiny man was at least temporarily finished regurgitating they opened the cell door. The smell was atrocious and it took a lot of control from the orderlies to avoid being sick themselves. Tetch looked up at them pitifully.

"Oh good heavens, please make it stop."

The orderlies held their breath, grabbed Tetch and pulled him into the hallway. Poor Jervis then spontaneously vomited again, his sick splashing on the orderlies' feet and down the hallway. Nygma followed suit, puking into the commode in his cell. One of the orderlies shook his head at him. Nygma glared at him.

"Don't look at me like that! I'm a sympathetic vomiter!"

Everyone on the ward was rushing about trying to calm the sudden chaos and clean up the mess as the orderlies dragged Tetch down to the medical center as quickly as possible.

Meanwhile down in solitary Joker was starting to worry. It had been over thirty minutes and he felt fit as a fiddle. He hoped he didn't need another dose because Mike used all the Ipecac he could find already. The effects hit Tetch quickly due to his diminutive size, but at Joker's six feet five inches and due to the fact that he had a natural resistance to medications he was afraid the syrup wasn't going to work on him and his whole plan would be shot in the ass. Just as this thought crossed his mind the Ipecac began to work. Joker was _very_ rarely sick. In fact, he couldn't recall the last time he had been sick to his stomach. As the bile rose up his gullet and spewed from his mouth he suddenly realized that this may have been an ill-conceived plan. He started to laugh but was cut off by another bout of illness. Once he was physically able to he yelled down the cell block.

"Dickens! Dickens, get your ass in here! I need to go to- bleeeeaaaaarrrrgh."

He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand as he heard the guard running down the block. He came to a stop outside of Joker's cell door and the smell alone told him what the problem was.

"Joker. You sick?" He narrowed his eyes at the guard.

"What the hell does it look like, moron?"

"Sit tight, I'm gonna call down some orderlies to take you to the medical center."

Joker sat back down on his cot with a smile on his face, until the nausea hit him again and he was on his knees gripping the sides of the grimy toilet. Mike was not wrong when he said Joker was going to have it worse than Tetch. You'd think throwing up a stomach full of food would be worse, but Joker had eaten only bread and water for the past four days and he was already dry heaving, having already expelled the meager contents of his stomach. It was painful. He still had another fifty minutes, give or take, before the Ipecac wore off and it was not going to be pleasant.

The orderlies arrived and escorted a gagging Joker to the medical center. As they entered he saw the doctor on duty tending to a very green looking Mad Hatter. The doctor looked up from his examination.

"Now what?" One of the orderlies answered.

"Joker's sick too. Looks like the same thing as Tetch has." The doctor sighed.

"That's just what we need, a stomach bug running through the asylum. I want the entire staff scrubbing the ward with bleach immediately! I don't have the wherewithal to deal with forty violent inmates puking their guts up in here!" Joker looked pitifully at the doctor.

"Um Doc, speaking of which, you got a bucket or something. I'm not feeling so good."

The doctor dashed and retrieved a basin just in time for Joker to choke up a small amount of yellow bile. Hatter had his own basin and was still heaving into it as well. The orderlies got Joker into a bed and looked at the doctor.

"What should we do about restraints?" The doctor shook his head.

"Until the vomiting stops we can't really restrain them. Cuff one arm on each of them for now and get two armed guards on the outer door. That will have to do for now."

The doctor examined his patients and determined that it wasn't food poisoning since Joker had not eaten the same things as Tetch. Neither inmate was running a fever or had any other obvious symptoms and diagnosed them both with a common stomach virus. He hooked them both up to IV's to administer necessary fluids to avoid dehydration from the vomiting. They'd have to stay in the medical wing for at least the next 24 to 48 hours until it worked its way through their systems. The doctor then left the area to go scrub up thoroughly leaving a nurse on duty to watch the two criminals.

The next hour was miserable for both Jervis and Joker. J was grateful at the moment that Harley was in a coma, he wouldn't want her to see him like this. If he could manage to wake her up, she had better appreciate what he went through for her.

The nurse was so grossed out by the sight of all the vomit and the heaving sounds she pulled the curtains on one side of each medical bay and put earbuds in to drown out the sounds with music. Once their nausea began to pass Joker called out to Hatter. A very exhausted Tetch looked up at the clown.

"Jervis, don't be pissed, but it's no coincidence that we're both here right now." Jervis sat up and glared at J.

"What ever do you mean?"

"Look, I need your help and I didn't know how else to get you here."

"So you what, _poisoned me?!_ All of this illness is your doing? Are you _mad?_ "

"Okay, so I admit this was not one of my better plans, but it was all I could come up with on such short notice!"

"You poisoned me-" J rolled his eyes.

"Don't be so dramatic. It was just a little Ipecac."

"You _poisoned me_ , and still expect me to _assist_ you? That is utter nonsense! I refuse!"

"Jervis, three beds down from you is Harley. She's still in a coma. You know more about the human brain and its manipulation than anyone else I know. If there's any chance of snapping her out of this, I know it's _you_ that can do it. I'm not asking you to do this for me, I'm asking you to do it for her. She's your friend Jervis. Tell me you won't abandon her when she needs you because you're pissed at me." Jervis sighed.

"You're right, I won't abandon her, you manipulative bastard. Harley has always been kind to me. I'll attempt to help, but I need my equipment." Joker smiled weakly, his gut and throat still hurt from all the heaving.

"Already taken care of buddy! I had everything brought down earlier. Let me just take care of the nurse and we can get started."

Joker slipped out of the handcuff on his wrist, pulled the IV tube out of his arm, lifted IV stand and held it over his shoulder like a baseball bat. He gave it a few practice swings before throwing the curtain aside and braining the nurse with it. Under normal circumstances he would continue beating her until he was sure she was dead, but he didn't have the energy just yet. He released Tetch from his cuff and found the box Mike had brought down from the property room.

"I hope you have something in here you can use."

"It will take me some time to alter this equipment to our needs. You'll have to bar the door. I can't have any interruptions. Manipulating the mind is a sensitive business and I need to concentrate."

oOoOoOoOo

On Monday's Jay always kept the garage closed, it was his only day off each week. He was lounging on his couch listening to the radio when he heard knocking on his apartment door. He pulled the gun from the depths of the couch cushions and tucked it into the back of the waistband of his jeans. He walked through the kitchen to the door and carefully opened it. His eyes widened when he saw who was standing on his stoop.

"Harley, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in school?" She looked up at him with watery eyes.

"I need to talk to you about something. May I come in?"

"Of course."

He stepped aside to let her into his apartment. They spoke at length about what had been happening to her. She didn't leave anything out, including the things that seemed impossible, like Jester randomly showing up and his face changing.

"Sounds pretty crazy, huh?" He scratched his head as he took in everything she had told him.

"I mean yeah, a little, but I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation. Maybe we should take you to see a doctor. You might have damaged something when you fell that's causing all of this." She shook her head.

"Then how come the only time it stops is when I'm with you?"

"I really don't know. That's why you should see a doctor." She thought it over.

"Okay, but not today. For now, can you just be with me? I can't handle the voices anymore." He embraced her and held her close to his chest.

"Yes, of course. I'd do anything for you Harley."

He brought his lips to hers and she enjoyed the feeling of safety she felt in his embrace.

oOoOoOoOo

The two super-villains had been fortunate so far and had not been discovered. Apparently the massive amounts of vomiting had the staff currently avoiding the medical center. The Mad Hatter finished altering his equipment and now had electrodes attached to Harley's forehead and temples. He then placed electrodes to his own head and closed his eyes.

"Okay Joker, switch on the device."

Hatter mired through the fog in Harley's head until he was finally able to tap into Harley's subconscious mind. Slowly things came into focus.

"Eureka! I'm in!"

"Well what's happening?"

"Oh dear. I seem to have stumbled into an intimate moment." Joker's brows furrowed.

"What, like she's re-living one of the times I thrilled her with my sexual prowess?"

"No. She's very young. She appears to be a teenager and she is kissing a man who looks strikingly similar to you, if you were twenty years younger and had black hair." Joker held his arms out.

"What the crap is that?"

"Shhhhhh. I need to concentrate."

Joker paced the room as he waited for Tetch to figure out what needed to be done to bring Harley out of her coma.

"This is odd, based on the surroundings, she's in a different time period. I'd say the late 1950's to early 60's if I had to hazard a guess."

"Now what is she doing?"

"Riding on the back of a motorcycle with that same man. She's laughing."

This all disgruntled the Joker. Even in a coma she had no business kissing and having fun with someone who wasn't him, no matter how similar he looked to the Joker himself. Tetch monitored Harley's subconscious for another half hour before Joker started getting impatient.

"How about now?"

"Joker please be quiet." Tetch was silent for several minutes. "Curiouser and curiouser. I think I may have figured out what's happening. Just give me a moment."

Finally, Jervis opened his eyes and removed the electrodes from both himself and Harley.

"You have to do something with the nurse, Joker." Joker looked at him confused.

"Why?"

"Because if she's discovered I won't be able to accomplish what we need to. I need time to alter the device. When it's lights out and the asylum is quiet we can resume."

"Fine."

"Please try to keep the mess to a minimum. Then unbar the door before we're caught."

Joker kneeled down next to the unconscious nurse and strangled her. It was no fun at all. She wasn't even awake to struggle or fight back. Waste of a murder if you ask him. He stuffed the body into a small set of sliding doors beneath one of the sinks. He had to break several of her bones to get all of her in there but eventually he managed it and was able to close the door.

"Will you please explain to me what the hell is going on now?"

"First we need to get back to our beds and cuff ourselves in." Joker scoffed, but did as Hatter asked.

"Well?" Hatter cleared his throat.

"What is happening is that Harley's subconscious mind has created an alternate reality that is disturbingly real. Because she is so engrossed in this life, it's holding her back from regaining her consciousness. I detect memories trying to break through her thoughts and I believe she can hear us, albeit faintly, when we speak to her but it seems she's resisting accepting her real life for this blissful, simple, perfect world her mind has created. I believe this doppelgänger of yours is what's grounding her more and more firmly into this false reality and I fear if we don't act fast we may lose her for good."

"So what do we have to do."

"Understand this is merely a theory, but we need to convince Harley that this alternate world is false and force her to remember her actual reality. I believe, since it's this look alike that is anchoring her ever more strongly to this world, that he needs to be dealt with."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?

"Joker, I'm going to have to send you into Harley's subconscious. I believe you're going to have to make Harley remember her life with you and restore her love for you. If you can't accomplish that, and perhaps even if you can, I think you'll need to challenge this impostor and eliminate him. Understand that this will be trickier than just going in guns blazing. You'll be inside of Harley's mind and it can be damaged. This will take finesse. I'm going to rig my device to allow me to monitor you while you're in there to help guide you and keep you from damaging her mind irreparably." Joker gaped at Tetch.

"So you're saying that I have to pretty much go into Harley's head, woo her all over again and kill her imaginary boyfriend?"

"Essentially." He smiled and looked like the cat that ate the canary.

"That sounds like a pretty good gag, Hatty. When do we start?"

"I have to re-work the device first to allow us both access, you on the inside and I as an observer. It will take me several hours to prepare. I estimate that by midnight we should be ready to begin."

 **A/N – Again I apologize for the vomiting, but personally I thought it was hysterical and madcap enough to be one of the Joker's fly by the seat of his pants, crazy ass plans. So Jay is going to have to meet J in the 1950's. What's going to happen? Stay tuned kids, same bat time, same bat channel!**


	6. Chapter 6

Happy Daze Chapter 6

Harley and Jay enjoyed the day together and she was incredibly relieved that the voices and visions were completely absent. As the sun began to set Jay suggested that he should get her home before her folks got worried. Her eyes widened and her heart began to race.

"Jay, I just can't. I can't handle the voices coming back. Please, you need to let me stay. This is the best I've felt in a week. I don't feel like my head is being torn apart, I'm not weighed down by questions I don't want answered. When I'm with you I feel normal, whole and safe. Please let me stay with you."

"What about your folks?" She eyed the phone on his wall.

"Mind if I make a couple of phone calls?" He shrugged.

"No, go ahead."

She first called Pam to make sure she'd cover for her, then called home. Her mother answered on the second ring.

"Hi mom."

"Harley, where have you been? We were starting to get worried."

"Sorry mom. Pam's having a rough time right now and I've been trying to keep her occupied. Boy troubles."

"Ohhhh. Are you going to be home in time for supper?"

"Actually mom, if it's okay with you I was going to sleep over and go to school with Pam in the morning. She's really broken up over this fella and she needs her best friend right now."

"Okay honey, just get to bed early. It is a school night after all."

"I will mom, I promise! Goodnight!"

"Night honey."

Harley hung the receiver back in the cradle and turned towards Jay wearing a bright smile. Jay was excited that he was going to get to sleep in the same bed as his girlfriend but at the same time this thing that seemed to be going on with her did concern him a bit. What if there was something seriously wrong with her? He was a grease monkey, what did he know about head injuries? If something happened while she was here he wouldn't know what to do. She seemed fine all day since she showed up on his doorstep though. He decided not to worry and to just enjoy having her here.

"Thanks for letting me stay." She wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her head against his chest. "I just feel so good when I'm with you." He held her tightly against him.

"I like having you here with me Harley. Are you sure you're comfortable sleeping in the same bed tonight? I could sleep on the couch if you want me to." She looked up into his face.

"No, I wouldn't make you do that. I want to be close to you." He smiled. If he played his cards right, tonight just might be _the_ night. "You hungry baby?"

"Yeah, actually I'm starving."

"C'mon, there's a little place a few blocks away that has great Chinese take-out."

oOoOoOoOoOo

In the medical center, the staff did a final check on Joker and Hatter before locking them in for the night. As soon as they heard the key turn in the lock they were out of their beds and getting ready to try to get Joker into Harley's subconscious. Tetch unveiled the completed device he had been quietly working on for the past several hours.

"Okay Joker, before we begin I want to brief you on a few things. First off, if this works and we manage to get you inside Harley's mind you have to be careful. If you just try to tell her outright about what's happened, you could very well do more harm than good. You're going to have to do this gradually. You'll need to earn her trust and slowly try to bring her memories to light."

"Tetchy, you know I'm not a patient guy."

"Joker, if we're to have any chance of getting Harley back you'll need to learn some then! Patience is a virtue. Secondly, while inside of her mind you'll have the ability to manifest." Joker raised an eyebrow.

"What exactly does _that_ mean?"

"You won't physically be inside Harley's head, you'll be more of a construct. With concentration and a little practice, you should be able to change your appearance and create any objects you'll require by focusing your thoughts. I am going to attempt to find a dark quiet corner of Harley's mind for us to practice that skill before I bring you into her current reality."

"So, like, say I want a cheese sandwich and I think about it really hard, it'll just appear?"

"That's more or less the gist of it Joker. That being said, please don't go over the top with the manifestations. If you do the likelihood of her believing you are real will diminish and we may never get her back."

"Well over the top is kind of my thing Hatty." Hatter rolled his eyes.

"Joker please try to take this seriously. If you screw up in there you can damage her mind so thoroughly that she'll be a vegetable for the rest of her life!"

"Okay, okay, don't have a conniption! So be smooth, patient and low key. Got it. Anything else?"

"Yes, the world she's currently trapped in is from the past. You'll want to watch your use of modern terminology and slang, or of mentioning major events that haven't happened yet. Do you know anything at all about the 1950's?"

"Enough to get by, I'm a classic movie buff. I should be fine."

"Very well. Let's pull an empty bed beside Harley and get started."

Hatter had Joker lie in the bed as he prepared the device. He hooked the electrodes back up to Harley, followed by Joker and then himself. His hand hovered over the power switch.

"Are you ready Joker?"

"As ready as I'm ever gonna be."

"You may feel a bit disoriented at first. Entering a mind for the first time is similar to finding one's sea legs on a ship. I will enter first and once I find an appropriate place for us to practice manifestation, I'll bring you in. Let's begin."

oOoOoOoOoOo

"Jay, do you have a shirt I can borrow to sleep in?"

Harley's stomach had butterflies. She was nervous and excited about sleeping together, but she was worried that he may think this meant she was ready to lose her virginity, which she wasn't yet. She was trying to decide if she should address that now or if she should just wait to see what happened.

"Yeah, sure. Let me grab you one."

He walked over to his dresser and pulled out a white tee shirt and handed it to her. He was thinking about the same thing as Harley. Did this mean she was ready? He prayed that was the case. He loved being with Harley but he couldn't deny that ever since they started going out he fantasized about making love to her. He was a healthy twenty-year-old man and the little make out sessions they'd had so far mostly ended up frustrating him. She started to unbutton her blouse.

"Can you turn around for a minute?" Well that wasn't a good start.

"Oh, yeah, sure thing." He turned his back as she undressed.

"Okay. You can turn around now."

His jaw dropped as he looked at her in the thin material of his shirt. It hugged her breasts and hips and fell to her mid-thigh.

"That really looks great on you."

Her skin flushed a deep pink, which only made him want her more. He took off his tee shirt revealing a chiseled six pack and thin yet muscular arms. As he reached for his belt, Harley turned her back to give him some privacy. It disappointed him.

"You can turn around you know." She glanced over her shoulder at him.

"Sorry, I just thought it was impolite to stare."

"It's okay. I like the way you look at me."

She slowly turned around as he pulled off his jeans. He didn't wear underwear and she noticed immediately that he was aroused. She flushed again. She pointed to the twin bed.

"What side do you want?"

He walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her slender waist. She could feel his erection pressing against her belly.

"I don't care as long as you're in it with me." He kissed her deeply and pulled her close. He could feel her resistance. "You're not ready for this are you?" She shook her head.

"For some things, yes. But I'm just not ready to go all the way Jay. I wanted to save that for the man I marry. It's important to me." He was obviously discouraged.

"I understand Harley, and I'll respect your wishes. C'mon, let's go to bed baby."

He turned out the light and they got into the bed. They cuddled together on the small mattress. She could feel that Jay was still in the mood. He placed his hands on either side of her face and drew it towards his. As they kissed his hand ran gently over her breast and down to the hem of the tee shirt she had on. He slowly lifted it, caressing her skin as he drew it up over her head and tossed it aside. He explored her with mouth and tongue and she ran her fingers through his thick black hair. He slowly moved his hand to rest on her hip just above the waistband of her panties.

"Harley, I promise we won't go all the way, but will you let me make you feel good?"

"Yes."

He raised himself up on his knees, grasped her panties and slowly drew them down. The light from the streetlamp gave the room a soft glow and he gazed at her nakedness.

"You are so beautiful."

He lay back down on his side and gently ran his hand down over her belly to the sensitive flesh between her legs. He tenderly slid one finger along her moist outer lips to her clitoris and she jerked and thrust her hips forward as he made circular movements around it with his fingers. Her reaction made him smile. He drew his fingers back down and explored her folds until he found her opening. He carefully inserted one finger inside of her warmth and she moaned in pleasure. He gently massaged her inner walls and once she adjusted to it he slipped in a second finger. He felt her muscles clench down on his fingers as he deftly moved them in and out of her. She squirmed and ground against his hand. She had never felt anything like this before and she bit her lip to keep from crying out. As he increased his pace he moved so that his head was hovering over her pelvis. He felt her muscles clenching down on him more firmly and knew she was getting close. He lowered his head and took her clit into his mouth, gently sucking and rolling his tongue over it. She couldn't hold back. As her very first orgasm rolled through her she moaned and called out his name, as well as God's and Jesus's several times. Her whole body shuddered with the power of it and he felt her fluids soak the fingers he still had inside of her. She dug both of her hands into his hair as he continued manipulating her with his tongue and she moaned even louder in her gratification.

oOoOoOoOo

Tetch entered Harley's mind and was relieved he hadn't brought Joker in just yet since he apparently stumbled upon a very private moment between Harley and the doppelgänger. He retreated immediately into the spaces in her mind not currently in use. He found an area he thought Joker would be undetected and slowly brought him in.

Joker found himself in an empty room. He was a little disoriented and his knees felt weak for a few moments. He looked around at the nothingness.

"So how about a little instruction here Hatty?"

"Joker, can you hear me?"

"Yeah, so now what?"

"I've brought you here so we can work on manifestation for a bit before I send you all the way into her fantasy world. The first thing we need to do is alter your appearance."

"Alter it how?"

"Well in this world of Harley's, she is merely a teenager. Let's work on making you a little younger first, shall we? Concentrate very hard on being, let's say eighteen years old. Envision it in your head. Close your eyes and focus on it. That's good Joker, you're getting it!"

J felt a change come over his body. His skin suddenly felt tighter and his joints didn't ache. He felt energized.

"So what do I look like?"

"Well Joker, how about we have you manifest a mirror and you can have a look."

J envisioned a hand mirror in his mind and after a few moments of concentration he felt the mirror in his hand. He held it up and laughed.

"Heh, look at that. I'm young again. And handsome if I do say so myself! That's a great gag!"

"Very good Joker, now we need to get you into more appropriate clothing. It's 1958 in her world, so think about the fashion of the times and manifest it."

"I never really paid all that much attention to the trends of that period. What am I going for here?"

"Well she seems to like bad boys so think about James Dean, Fonzie or that Travolta fellow from the famous musical."

He concentrated and a few moments later he had new clothes. He looked himself over. He was wearing tight black jeans that were rolled up, a black leather belt with silver studs, the buckle of which was a yellow smiley face. He had on a tight green tee shirt over which he had a fitted short sleeved purple shirt that was buttoned only to the third buttonhole. He had black biker boots with studded straps on his feet and fingerless black leather gloves on his hands. There was a chain that looped from his belt to his wallet in his back pants pocket. The whole ensemble was topped off with a black biker jacket that was embellished with silver studs and a picture of his own face on the back.

"So? How do I look?"

"Well you do bring your own colorful style into things, but it should be fine. It's certainly attention grabbing. Okay, now how about a mode of transportation?"

"Oh that one's easy. I've always wanted one of these."

He concentrated until a vintage 1955 Chevy Classic V8 convertible manifested itself. It was metallic purple with a green convertible top and green leather interior. The car was chromed to the max and had a tricked out engine. A pair of purple fuzzy dice hung from the rearview mirror.

"Will you look at that. One of America's first great muscle cars!" He walked around the car drooling over the workmanship. "I have got to get me one of these when we get back."

He hopped into the vehicle and started the engine. It roared to life. He pumped the accelerator a few times to listen to that Hemi rumble from under the hood.

"Okay Tetchy, now what?"

"Well it seems you have the hang of it now. Per-"

Hatter was cut off by the sound of Harley's orgasm ringing through the confines of her head. Joker turned towards the noise his brow furrowed and a frown turning his lips down angrily.

" _I know that sound!_ That imposter is touching _my_ property! Oh he is _so_ gonna pay! Hatty get me in there!"

"No, Joker wait! Subtlety remember. Anyway I have it on good authority that they're not having sex." Joker raised an eyebrow.

"Oh really now? And just how would you know that?" Jervis was grateful he was just an observer at this point.

"Well, I um, sort of stumbled upon them when I first entered Harley's mind and I heard her tell him she was saving herself for marriage."

"SO? He's still touching _MY_ Harley! I am _really_ gonna enjoy killing this punkass."

"Listen Joker, we still have some things to go over before I can bring you into her mind. So do please try to calm down. You'll have every opportunity to kill your look alike."

"Fine! What else do I need to know?"

"Time moves differently here. As we're here in the back of Harley's subconscious a new day is already dawning in her world. Next, it may benefit you to observe her from a distance to begin with. We need to determine if she has any idea that this world is false. If she has any doubts that this life she's currently stuck in is real, it will be easier for us to bring her back. And finally you can't expect to go in there and simply kill your imposter. The shock could lock her in her own mind for good. You're going to have to play along with this fantasy of hers until we discover the best way to draw her out."

The only thoughts in Joker's mind at the moment were the torture, mutilation and evisceration of his doppelgänger.

"Joker are you paying attention?"

"Yeah, yeah, let's get on with this already! I wanna grease this greaser and the sooner I can do that the better!"

"Very well. Okay Joker, I'm bringing you in now. You may want to close your eyes for a moment."

Joker closed his eyes and felt the world sort of tilt for a second. Then he heard the sounds of birdsong and children's voices. He opened his eyes and realized he was sitting in his car across the street from a high school. He saw a blue Thunderbird pull in front of the school and after a few moments saw the familiar blonde pigtails of his Harley exiting the vehicle. As the car pulled away he started the engine to follow it.

"Joker! That won't do you any good. He is as much of a construct as anything else in Harley's mind. Once he's out of her vicinity he essentially ceases to exist. For now, get in there and follow Harley!"

Joker grumbled under his breath as he stalked across the street and into the high school. He stopped short as he looked around.

"Oh this is too good. Ha ha ha ha! The whole gang's here! Look Hatty, even you."

The Jervis Tetch of Harley's false reality was being hung inside a locker by his underwear by Bruce Wayne. Joker laughed hysterically.

"Yes, I'm sure this is all very amusing Joker but you need to hurry up and find Harley."

"The kid sure has a good imagination, I gotta give her that. So when I find her how am I going to keep her from noticing me. The green hair kind of gives me away."

"Use your manifestation technique and imagine yourself growing dim. Envision that anyone who looks at you, see's right past you as if you were not really there." The first bell rang as Joker did what Hatter instructed him to.

"I suppose I should test it out before I go find Harley."

Joker walked up behind Bruce Wayne who's back was to him. He reached out, grabbed the hem of his underpants and gave the jock a violent wedgie. Bruce spun around ready to wallop the culprit but no one was there.

"Who did it? Where are you ya coward?" Joker chuckled evilly.

"Oh Brucie boy, even in Harley's head you're a big, rich joke." Bruce looked from side to side.

"I heard that! Come on out and face me like a man." Joker cackled and punched Bruce in the nose as hard as he could, knocking him out cold.

"Oh man, I could stand here and do that all day, but I gotta go find my girl. Bye bye Brucie boy!"

Joker padded down the hallways looking into each classroom until he found her. She was sitting next to Pam in homeroom. He opened the door and the class turned to look at who was entering but there was nobody there. He giggled when he saw who the teacher was. Joan Leland was at the front desk with cat eye glasses on her nose and a cardigan draped over her shoulders. J took a seat in the desk next to Harley to eavesdrop on her whispered conversation with Pam.

"Harley, what on earth is going on with you? You ditch classes yesterday to go see Jay and then sleep over his house? Are you screwing him?"

"No Pam, I'm not screwing him! It's just that, whenever I'm not with him the voices, visions and dreams come back. That creepy clown doll keeps showing up with its changing face and cryptic messages. It's tearing me apart and I just couldn't take it anymore! When I'm with Jay all of it stops. I can be me again. I don't have to feel like I'm being split in half anymore. I just needed one day when I wasn't being haunted by whatever all of this is." Pam shook her head at her friend.

"Harley, don't you think it's time to see a doctor? You can't keep doing this. What'll your parents say when they find out?" Harley put her head in her hands.

"I don't know Pam, but I'm afraid. What if I go to a doctor and they tell me I'm crazy and lock me up in some asylum somewhere?" Pam grabbed Harley's hand and squeezed it.

"Harley, you're not crazy. You hit your head and you damaged something is all. If you see a doctor maybe they can fix it."

"That's what Jay said. But then how can you explain the fact that it stops when he's around?"

"I can't, but I'm not a doctor. Look why don't you come over tonight and we can try to figure it out?" Harley wiped the dampness that was gathering in her eyes away with the back of her hands.

"I can't tonight. I have a date with Jay. He's taking me to the dance hall for swing night."

Joker leaned in when he heard this.

"Taking my girl dancing, eh imposter. We'll just see about that."

Harley's head popped up and she looked around.

"Jester? Pam did you hear that?"

"Hear what Harley?"

"I could have sworn I just heard Mr. J, Jester, the doll I told you about. In the visions I get when I hold him, that's the voice I've heard."

"You are really starting to worry me Harls."

The bell rang and Harley gathered her books and headed to her next class. Joker walked back out of the school and to the car.

"Jervis, you still with me buddy?"

"Yes Joker and I heard everything. This is very, very good news. She's already halfway there, we should be able to pull her out of this as long as you don't do anything drastic."

"Sounds to me like I'm going dancing tonight. Hey Hatty, do you think I have any kind of control over the surroundings in here?"

"Perhaps to some small extent. Why do you ask?" Joker shrugged.

"Because I have an idea." He smiled. "It may just do the trick."

That evening Jay and Harley arrived at the dance hall. As they pulled up Jay formed a puzzled look on his face.

"What's wrong Jay?"

"The name on the sign is different. When did they do that?"

Harley looked up and read the bright blue neon sign. It said Iceberg Lounge.

"Why does that sound so familiar? I feel like I've been here before."

Jay got out of the car and came around to open her door for her. As they walked through the parking lot Harley noticed the bright purple Chevy V8.

"Wow, look at that. That's some car."

Jay shrugged as if he was unimpressed, opened the door and the music blasted out at them. The dance floor was already packed full of rowdy teens swinging and jiving to the beat.

"C'mon doll, let's hit the dance floor!"

He grabbed her hand and dragged her to the center of the floor as the next song started playing. Jay was a surprisingly good dancer and his lead was easy to follow. They moved in time to the music as he twirled, lifted and dipped her. She laughed as he swung her through his legs and she popped up onto her feet on the other side. Joker stood in the shadows of the dance hall, getting angrier and angrier as he watched Harley laugh as she danced with the imposter. When the song ended he made his move. He came up behind Harley.

"I hope you haven't already filled your dance card dollface."

Harley spun and almost fainted at seeing the green hair and red smile. It was like a living version of Jester standing before her.

"Jester? Mistah J? How can this be? But, but y-you're just a doll!"

"Not at all Harley-girl. I'm flesh and blood just like you. I bet you have questions. Grant me a dance and I'll try to explain."

Harley hesitated. This couldn't be real. As she gaped at him Joker pulled a single red rose from his inner pocket and handed it to her. It had a note attached to it the read. 'Come down and see me sometime. -J' Harley's eyes widened in recognition. She'd seen this before. Jay was pissed this clown faced freak was hitting on his girl.

"How about you back away from my girlfriend, clown?"

Joker turned abruptly and faced his doppelgänger with rage in his eyes. The resemblance was striking. He supposed he could understand why she'd be attracted to him although he was nowhere near as handsome as the genuine article.

"Why don't you butt out and let the lady decide for herself, you fake!"

"Why don't I take you outside and we settle this right now?" Harley stood between the two versions of Joker.

"Wait! Jay, I do have questions I think he can answer. Just one dance and then we can go."

Jay didn't like it but it was Harley's decision. He wasn't her husband and wasn't going to try and tell her what she could and couldn't do. But he didn't have to be happy about it.

"Fine Harley. I'll be waiting by the door."

He strode away fuming. Joker bowed to her and held out his hand. She placed her hand in his and he whisked her out onto the dance floor. The song changed to a slow number. Joker placed his hand on her waist and pulled her close and began to sway to the music. He looked deeply into her eyes and she felt the familiarity. They were so like Jay's eyes, but not. These eyes were older, wiser, crueler.

"So Harley, I understand you've been feeling confused lately, isn't that right?"

"W-who are you?" He spun them around and pulled her closer.

"You already know who I am. You already said my name. I'm your Mr. J. The Clown Prince of Crime. The one and only Joker."

"I don't understand."

"Harley, you hit your head, yes? And ever since then you've felt like you're living in two different worlds, am I right?"

"Y-yes."

"That's because you have been. Tell me Harley, have you been feeling like things here are just a little too perfect? Particularly your family?"

"Yes."

"Joker, don't reveal too much! Let her come to terms with it or we'll lose her!" Jervis yelled as he watched the scene unfold before his eyes.

"Tell me some of the things that have felt wrong since your accident."

"I keep having this memory of going to high school in Brooklyn." He swung them about to the music.

"That's because you did. Harleen Francis Quinzel, you grew up in Bensonhurt with your mother Sharon and brother Barry. You came to Gotham on a gymnastics scholarship when you were eighteen years old."

"B-but I'm only seventeen. How is that possible? What about my dad?"

"You tell me, Pumpkin."

"I-is he in jail?"

"Yes. Good old Nick Quinzel. He's in Fishkill Correctional Facility having served six years of a fifteen-year stretch for larceny and embezzlement."

"What religion is my family?"

"Well, you're non-practicing Pumpkin, but you're Jewish. Do you remember how we met?" She shook her head.

"No, but I feel like I know you. Like I've known you for years."

"That's because you have. I met you when you were twenty-seven and a first year resident Psychiatrist at Arkham Asylum. You were a bright young upstart trying to further her career and mine was the case that was going to make you famous. Do you remember?"

"No, no I don't." She attempted to pull away but he held her fast.

"No matter, we'll get to that. Do you remember our first real date darling?" She gazed at him in confusion. "I took you to the Iceberg Lounge, we danced the Tango while the entire crowd stood and watched. You were wearing the dress you wore to a Gala at Wayne Manor on New Year's Eve and you were absolutely stunning. I gifted you a ruby necklace that night. Do you remember?" She shook her head as if trying to clear it.

"No it's vaguely familiar but no, I don't remember."

"Joker, you're pushing her too hard!" yelled Tetch.

The song was coming to a close. Joker had to do something to ring her bell.

"Do you remember this?" He dipped her and kissed her deeply. She closed her eyes and yes it felt right, but why. It scared her. He pulled her upright and she pushed him away.

"This can't be happening. I have a boyfriend; I have my family. Why are you here, what are you trying to accomplish?" She was panicking and tears were filling her eyes.

"Calm down Poo. Everything is going to be okay. I just need you to try to remember." Joker felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned and got sucker punched in the jaw by Jay.

"Get your paws off my girl!" Joker chuckled maniacally as he spit blood on the floor.

"What do you plan to do about it, sport?" Jay pulled out his switchblade and flicked the button. Joker guffawed at the sight of the tiny little knife.

"You call that a knife, kid? That's not a knife. This…" he manifested a blade that he withdrew from the inside pocket of his jacket. It was a seven-inch-long fixed blade with one serrated edge and the other honed to a near razor's edge. "is a knife. Ready to rumble?"

Harley looked from one J to the other in confusion.

"Stop, stop, STOP!" She jumped between the two of them. "Don't do this Jay, please!" There was a crowd gathering around them.

"Out of respect for my girlfriend, I'm not gonna gut you like a fish, but I demand satisfaction."

"Ooohh, I like the sound of that. What'd you have in mind, kid?"

"A race. For pinks. Tomorrow night on the Sprang Bridge. Seven o clock. Be there or be square."

"Done. But you can keep your pink slip kid. If I win, I get your girl." He looked over at Harley and smiled. "See you tomorrow cupcake." He winked at her and she blushed. "In the meantime. Think about what we discussed tonight. If you think long and hard about it, the truth will reveal itself."

Joker walked out to the parking lot and hopped into the V8. When Jay realized what car he was up against, he internally panicked. The T-Bird was fast but he wasn't one hundred percent sure he could outclass a 55 Chevy Classic. Harley watched Joker pull out of the parking lot. She was so confused. How did he know all of that? How could he know the questions she had in her head that she hadn't shared with anyone else? Why did everything he say feel so familiar? She turned to Jay.

"Can you please take me home now?"

oOoOoOoOo

Ivy awoke to tapping on the glass of her cell door. She squinted into the darkness and saw Joan Leland standing there. Joan opened Ivy's cell. She whispered quietly.

"Pam, I want to experiment a little with your pheromones, but since this is not technically acceptable protocol we need to do this before the asylum starts waking up. Will you come with me to the medical center?"

"Yes, of course." Pam whispered in reply.

"Okay Joker, I'll need to pull you out now. You need to rest a bit before I put you back in."

Tetch slowly began pulling Joker from Harley's subconscious. It was slightly after four in the morning and the doctors would be making their rounds in a few hours. Tetch had almost completed pulling Joker out when he heard a key turn in the lock on the outer door to the medical center. Just as Joker's eyelids were fluttering open the door opened and the lights flickered on. Joan and Pam stared wide eyed at Joker and Jervis. Simultaneously all four said.

"Shit!"


	7. Chapter 7

Happy Daze Chapter 7

Joan and Pam stood in the doorway gaping at Joker and Tetch. Joan saw the device lying on Harley's bed and the electrodes attached to all three of their heads. Joker and Tetch both stared back looking like kids who just got caught with their hands in the cookie jar. Joan angrily walked towards them.

"Joker! What in the hell do you think you're doing?" Joker's face grew indignant.

"What you and the rest of the useless doctors around here couldn't do! I'm getting Harley back! What the hell are _you two_ doing here in the middle of the freaking night?" Pam stalked across the medical center.

"If you've done anything to hurt her I swear to God I'll grow a giant fly trap to swallow you whole, right fucking now!"

Tetch pulled the electrodes from his forehead and temples and held his hands up.

"Pamela, Dr. Leland, please calm yourselves. We know what's happening and we're very close to drawing Harley out." Joan turned and glared at the Hatter.

"You had better explain to me immediately just what the hell is going on here! What do you mean, _you know what's happening_?" She roared. Hatter cringed and cowed away from Joan.

"I-n Wonderland they lie, dreaming as the days go by, d-dreaming as the summers die. Ever drifting down the stream, lingering in the golden dream. Life, what is life but a dream?" Joker rolled his eyes dramatically.

"Now see what you've gone and done? You know when you stress Jervis out he starts speaking in Alice in Wonderland quotes!" He glanced over at the Hatter. "Why don't you take a little time-out to calm down, Jervis?" He swung his legs off the side of the bed he was lying on and pulled the wires off of himself. "Look Leland, what Jervis is trying to say is that Harley has created this perfect dream world inside of her head that's pacified her into staying there. The good news is that there are cracks we can exploit to pull her out. She knows something's wrong, she realizes this world is just too perfect to be real but she's still reluctant to accept that she's living inside a false reality because there's someone grounding her there."

"What do you mean there's somebody grounding her there?" Joker chuckled.

"She's created a version of _me_ inside of her head. An _unfunny_ , much less attractive version of me that she's convinced herself she's in love with. It's the only reason she won't accept her real life and come back to us." Pam's eyes boggled.

"J, you're telling me you and Jervis have been here poking around inside of Harley's head all night? Are you nuts? What if you screw up? We might never be able to wake her up!" He narrowed his eyes at Ivy.

"Well what's your brilliant plan, plant girl?"

" _I_ was able to get a physical reaction out of her using my pheromones! We planned on trying again until we discovered _you_ here!"

"What kind of physical reaction?"

"Her eyelids fluttered three or four times." Joker burst out laughing.

"You think a little eyelid flutter makes a difference? Look Pammy, the bottom line is if I don't deal with this fake she's lost to us. So why don't you and Joanie back the hell off so I can do what I need to do!" Jervis seemed to have pulled himself together a bit.

"Joker, actually a physical reaction is fairly significant. If we can synch the reactions between her physical body and her inner mind, I think we may have an easier time breaking down this façade." Hatter turned to Ivy. "Pam perhaps when I put Joker back in to deal with his doppelgänger, you can assist me by using your pheromones on Harley?" Pam nodded. Jervis turned to Joan. "Dr. Leland, do you think you can buy us some time by keeping the staff away from the medical center until our work is complete? The less distractions we encounter the better the chance of saving Harley."

"Do you really think you can do this, Jervis?" He nodded rapidly.

"Indubitably, but we really must get started again soon. Time inside her mind is passing and we need to get Joker back in there before seven PM. If my calculations are correct its nearly time." Joan sighed.

"I can't believe I'm actually about to say this, but yes. I'll order the staff to stay out of the entire wing until we get her out. I'm trusting you Jervis."

"Thank you Dr. Leland."

"Please be careful and bring her back to us. I'll go deal with the staff. I'll be back."

Joan left the medical center as Jervis pulled an empty bed on the opposite side of Harley for Ivy to lie in.

"We best get to it. Pam, Joker, if you please?"

He motioned towards the empty beds. The pair lay down on either side of Harley. Jervis re-attached the electrodes to Joker and himself. Joker took Harley's right hand in his. Pam narrowed her eyes at him and took Harley's left hand in hers.

"Alright, Pam you can begin releasing your pheromones. Joker, close your eyes and prepare yourself. If we fail, it's for good. So let's not fail." He reached out and flipped the switch on the device.

oOoOoOoOoOo

While Joker, Hatter, Ivy and Dr. Leland were arguing, inside of her fantasy Jay had dropped Harley off at home. As she walked into her room she immediately noticed that Jester was back on her bed, huge red smile plastered back on his face.

"Mistah J, you came back."

She didn't touch him as she sat down on her bed and tried to puzzle out what had just happened. She became distracted as she glanced around her room and noticed the reappearance of Jester wasn't the only thing that had changed in her absence. She walked over to her shelf to look at her gymnastics trophies. She picked one up and read it.

'Harleen F. Quinzel – East Brooklyn Community High School - Uneven Parallel Bars - First Place – September 3, 2000'

She stared at the date confused. She walked over to her dresser to look at the framed photos there. She lifted one up and examined it. It was a picture of her with her mother and Barry at the Bronx zoo. She pulled off the back of the frame and read the inscription. 'Bronx Zoo July 2, 1996 Harley age 12, Barry age 8.' She remembered this trip. They ate funnel cake. She ran through the butterfly house laughing madly as the butterflies landed on her pigtails, fingers and nose. Then Barry got stung by a wasp and they had to go to the first aid building because his arm swelled up.

She turned around and sharply took in a breath. Jester was still smiling at her but now one button eye was triangular as if the clown was winking at her. That clown. That strange man who looked so much like Jay, yet didn't at all. As she danced with him she began remembering things. She was Jewish he'd said. She turned and opened her jewelry box. Laying on top of everything was a silver and sapphire Star of David on a fine chain. She held it up before her eyes and examined it. As she did she remembered it was a gift from her aunt Rita when she came to visit them for Hanukkah one year. That unusual face framed with that verdant green hair filled her mind again. He kissed her and she felt like all was right in the world. Before he left he told her if she thought long and hard about it, the truth would reveal itself. The house suddenly shook violently and a large crack ran down the plaster wall next to her mirror. She heard a loud rumble of thunder and looked out of the window to see dark, ominous storm clouds gathering in the distance.

She felt that something was coming. Something that was going to change everything.

oOoOoOoOo

Unbeknownst to Hatter, the first thing Joker did when he reentered Harley's mind was to reimagine his vehicle to hold a few surprises during the race. He was the Joker and always had a few aces up his sleeve. He liked to make sure he stacked the deck in his favor.

"Jervis, where is she right now?"

"Heading to a place called Dunbar's Drive-in, not far from the race site." He hopped in the Chevy and headed that way.

News of the drag race traveled fast. Almost everyone at Gotham High and a good many from Riverside High turned out to watch the spectacle. The crowd met up at Dunbar's Drive-in beforehand to gossip, look over the cars and make bets. When Joker got there he noticed that Harley had not arrived yet which actually worked well. This was probably their last chance to draw Harley out so he was going to throw caution to the wind. He may only have a little influence on this bogus world of hers, but he was going to screw with it as much as possible.

As Jay and Harley pulled up to the Drive-in she stared in shock at the building. She had only been at Dunbar's on Friday for her shift and in less than a week the entire place had changed. The building was round with a red and white striped roof topped with a circle of male and female clowns holding hands around the spire. It very much resembled a large tent. The sign no longer said Dunbar's. It now sported a huge smiling clown head beneath which the name now read 'The Circus Drive-in'. Inside the covered outdoor seating area, a parade of brightly colored animals were painted along the half wall in front of the picnic tables. What caught Harley's eye were the animals leading this parade, two spotted hyenas. Without acknowledging Jay, she hopped out of the car and jogged over to get a better look. There were collars painted on each and as she kneeled down to read the names she was struck with familiarity. Jay followed quickly after her to find out what was going on.

"Harley? Are you okay?"

"I know them." She replied as she stared at the mural.

"Know who?" He asked completely baffled. She placed her hand on top of the painted hyenas.

"It's Bud and Lou. My hyenas."

"Harley are you sure you're okay? You're really starting to worry me. What do you mean _your_ hyenas?"

"They're my pets. I raised them from pups."

"Harley, no you didn't. You don't even have a dog. What are you talking about?"

"No need to worry _Pseudo-me_. She's absolutely right. Those are our hyenas." Joker said as he walked up behind the couple. "Do you remember how we got them Pumpkin?" She turned and looked at Joker with bewildered eyes.

"You gave them to me for my thirtieth birthday. You had one of your contacts in Africa confiscate them from a band of poachers in Kenya and had them shipped to Gotham." A huge grin spread across his face.

"That's exactly right Poo. You're starting to remember. Good girl." He patted the top of her head. Suddenly the earth shook beneath their feet and lightning flashed violently across the sky. Jay looked around in alarm.

"What the heck was that?" Joker chuckled.

"Well that, _J-fake_ , are the walls tumbling down on this mockery of Gotham my little Harley-girl has created." Jervis's voice filled Joker's head.

"Joker, it's working! She's responding physically. Her eyes are moving as if she's in REM sleep. It's time to deal with the doppelgänger and get her out of there." Joker placed his hand on the side of Harley's face.

"Sit tight, Poo. Once I deal with this phony here, everything is going to be okay." He turned to Jay. "So, imposter, you ready to do this, or what?"

"I'm gonna destroy you, freak!" Joker threw his head back and chortled.

"We'll just see about that, pretender!"

Joker and Jay headed to their cars. Joker started his up and flames shot out from the exhaust pipes making the crowd stare in awe. Jay swallowed down the lump in his throat and started his own engine. They drove the short distance to the Sprang Bridge. The crowd, including Harley walked and sat on the neighboring hill to watch the race. They stopped their cars and glared at one another. Jay yelled to Joker.

"The first one to get to the fourth archway and back wins." Joker winked at him which infuriated Jay. His lips drew back from his clenched teeth in a grimace and he revved his engine loudly in response.

From the crowd Roxy Sutton walked out onto the roadway as she untied the red scarf around her neck which she held in one hand. She stood in front of both cars with her hands in the air.

"Ready, set…. _GO!_ "

She dropped her arms and the cars took off like rockets. The Thunderbird shot off the line and Jay took an early lead. Joker stomped down on the accelerator and soon the cars were neck and neck. Jay knew if he didn't do something drastic there was a pretty good chance he may lose to this clown. He grabbed the wheel and jerked it to the left crashing into the side of the purple Chevy and forcing Joker into the inside guardrail. The paint job was being destroyed and the doors on either side got wrecked with that little move from Jay. Joker glared over at his imposter.

"You little sonofabitch! He's lucky this car is just a construct or I would be _really_ pissed off!"

Jay moved back to the center of the lane and drew ahead of the Chevy. Joker was done screwing around. It was time to bring out the big guns. Joker reached toward the dashboard and pressed the first of several shiny new buttons, deploying his wheel slasher hubcaps. He smashed the accelerator down again and even with the damage to his vehicle he managed to catch back up. He turned the wheel towards the Thunderbird. The cars made contact and Jay heard a metallic tearing sound as one of the hubs caught the rear quarter panel and tore through it. Jay jerked the wheel away to avoid more damage, causing him to lose his lead. Joker sped ahead of the Thunderbird and took the opportunity to press the next button. From the rear of Joker's car, oil gushed out in a flood coating the roadway. Jay had no time to avoid the hazard and his rear end fishtailed as it plowed through the slick fluid. The rear bumper caught the guardrail and was torn completely off of the vehicle. Jay was livid.

"He's cheating! That pasty faced freak is fucking cheating!"

Joker cackled as he watched Jay try to catch up in the rearview. Joker made it to the fourth arch and slammed down on the brake as he sharply turned the wheel. The car spun, pointing him in the opposite direction and he floored it. Joker checked the rearview and Jay had turned his car and was gaining on him. Joker swerved back and forth across the road forcing Jay to the outer guardrail. He laughed maniacally as he pounded down on the big red button in the center of the dash, deploying the punchline to this big joke. Two round objects emerged from small panels at the rear of the Chevy and dropped onto the roadway. The objects rolled toward Jay's vehicle. Joker pressed the final button, engaging the nitrous oxide tanks which shot the big purple Chevy well ahead of the Thunderbird. In the rearview mirror Joker saw the objects suddenly explode beneath Jay's Thunderbird in an orange cloud of fire, tearing it in two and sending half of it plummeting off of the bridge. He slammed on the brakes and came to a screeching halt at the finish line. He got out of the car to a cacophony of shouts and cheers.

Lightning pierced the sky and thunder rumbled portentously as everything began to violently shake. It was almost as if they were inside of a dome that was crumbling apart as large pieces of the world Harley had created started falling all around them. Not only was it shaking apart it was shrinking as the fabrication began to collapse in on itself. Joker ran over to Harley who was staring in shock at the remnants of Jays smoldering car.

"Harley! Harls, look at me." She continued to stare.

"Joker, grab her and run. You have to get out of there!" Jervis yelled through the destruction.

"She's not responding, what do I do?"

"Whatever you would normally do in this circumstance!" He shrugged.

"Okay, but you better not give me shit for this later." Joker drew his hand back and slapped her solidly across the face as he yelled. "Snap out of it!" Harley blinked several times and looked at Joker.

"P-puddin? W-what's going on?" He grabbed her wrist.

"I'll explain later, for now just run!" In the distance a large chunk of the false reality fell and through it he could see Gotham, his Gotham, complete with Bat-signal shining brightly in the sky. "That's the way out! C'mon Harls, let's move!"

He dragged her behind him heading for the hole in her fantasy as they dodged the falling debris from the sky. The shaking and rumbling increased as they ran. The ground began splitting apart and they had to hurdle crevasses to traverse the terrain. Harley suddenly tripped and fell hard. Joker quickly pulled her upright, grabbed her around the waist and threw her over his shoulder. He sprinted towards the hole to reality, which was rapidly closing in on itself.

"Shit, shit, shit!"

Joker instinctually dove headfirst towards the real Gotham and landed hard on the other side, Harley falling on top of him, just as the false Gotham completely collapsed in on itself in a cloud of smoke.

Joker's eyelids opened. Jervis and Joan Leland were staring down at him. He looked to his right. Harley's eyelids were fluttering. He rolled over and grabbed her face.

"Harls! C'mon baby, open your eyes and look at Daddy." When they remained closed he started slapping one of her cheeks. "Harley, c'mon now. It's time to get up. Wake up baby, wake up and look at Daddy right now!" he yelled.

Her eyelids suddenly popped wide open and she stared at Joker in confusion.

"Puddin? What happened? Where am I?"

It seemed everyone in the room collectively let out a relived breath as Joker pulled her up into his arms.

"Thank God, Harls!" He held her by the shoulders at arm's length. "Don't _ever_ do that to me again!"

Harley was bewildered and slowly looked around the room. Pam was sitting upright in the bed beside her with tears streaming down her cheeks, Jervis was standing behind her smiling widely and looking smug and Joan gazed at her with soft, relieved eyes.

"I was having this really crazy dream, and Puddin, you were there. So were the rest of you. It was kinda like that movie Grease, but without all the hokey singing and crap." Everyone burst out laughing as Harley stared at them. "So, is anyone gonna tell me what the heck is going on?"

Jervis spent the next half hour trying to explain to a very confused Harley Quinn what had been happening for the past several days.

"Wait a minute. So you're saying all that crazy crap in my dream really happened?" Jervis smiled.

"Not exactly, but as far as your mind was concerned it did, until Joker slapped some sense into you. Quite literally in fact."

"Yeah sorry about that, Poo, but we were running out of time. It worked at least." He narrowed his eyes at her. "Now Pumpkin, in the future, when Daddy gives you instructions on the job _you had better obey them!_ I know I _never_ want to go back inside your head again kiddo. It's kinda scary in there. You really are nuttier than fruitcake, you know that?"

"Yeah, I do, Pud. I know I'm nuts about you at least." He smiled and held out his arms.

"Come to Daddy Pumpkin."

She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him. Pam gagged. Joan after a moment or two of watching the two clowns make out broke up the happy reunion.

"Okay, okay, enough already. Harley, you sit tight, I need to have the doctors examine you." She turned to the rogues. "And you three are going back to your cells." Joker scrunched up his face.

"Aww c'mon Doc! Give a guy a break! I just spent the better part of a day saving Harley from a coma and permanent brain damage! Doesn't that deserve some kind of reward?" Joan thought about it.

"You're right Joker, so your reward is that I'm not throwing you back in solitary for putting her in a coma in the first place."

"I told you it was an accident!" He shouted.

"I know, and this time I actually believe you." The doors to the medical center opened. Two armed guards and four orderlies ran in.

"Dr. Leland, are you okay? Your panic button was activated."

"Yes Charlie, everything is just fine. Please escort Joker, Pam and Jervis back to their cells."

Joker leaned over to Harley and whispered in her ear before the orderlies could grab him.

"Don't worry baby, I'll sneak out to see you later and as soon as you're back on your feet I'll bust us out of this joint!"

He gave her a quick peck on the lips before he was dragged out of the medical center.

The following night, Joker snuck down to the medical center. He was in the bed with her between his legs, her back pressed against his chest as he told her all of the details of their adventure.

"Oh Puddin. You really put yourself through all that puking just to get to me? I knew you really loved me!"

"Yeah, well I was the one who threw the grenade even if you had no business being there in the goddamn way when it went off. I figured it was the least I could do."

"Ya know Pud, I remember bits and pieces of it all. But the more time that passes the fuzzier it gets. How I ever believed that Jay character was you I'll never understand."

"Yeah, well you did." He grumbled. "And I really didn't appreciate you making out with another guy, even if you did think he was me!" Harley blushed.

"Sorry Puddin, but it wasn't really real, ya know."

"Yeah well it seemed pretty damn real when I was stuck inside that wacky brain of yours." She rolled over and put her good arm around his neck.

"Thanks for going through all of that and for saving me from myself Puddin."

"Yeah well, just make sure I never have to do it again."

"I love you so much Pud. I'm such a lucky girl to have you." He smiled.

"You got that damn right, you screwy broad."

She pressed her lips to his and savored the warmth of his body. After a few moments he broke the kiss.

"Well Poo, I better get back to my cell before the old battle-axe catches me. Just as soon as that cast comes off of your ankle, I have a plan in place to bust us out. Oh, and we have to bust Jervis out with us as payment for me poisoning him."

"Poor Jervis, we're lucky he agreed to help us after that."

"Yeah we are. I'm just glad you're back with us baby."

Harley smiled and looked at him through lowered lashes. Joker slid out of the bed. He leaned over and kissed her one last time before heading to the door.

"See you soon, baby. Sweet dreams."

-Fin

 **A/N – So another story is finished and I'm starting work on two new ones very soon. I'm not sure which one I'm going to start first but hopefully I'll publish the first chapter of one of them next week sometime. Hope you enjoyed spending time inside of Harley's wacky mind for the past few weeks, it was really fun to write! Hope everyone is well and as always a huge thank you to all of my reviewers. You guys are total awesomesauce!**

 **Oh, incidentally, as an interesting aside, The Circus Drive In is an actual functioning drive-in in my hometown and it does actually look like a big circus tent, you can Google it if you're curious. The food is great and we eat there at least a couple of times every summer. You may have seen it featured on The Food Network.**


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